Luckily, Thursday's starter is rumored to be able to walk on water
4/25/07
4/24/07
Is it time to worry yet?
Yankees lose 5th straight
Headlines
- Wang pitches well - gets drilled by liner - keeps pitching well
- Carl Crawford is faster than most cars
- Welcome back Godzilla; Matsui hits a bomb
- Mike Myers proves that Major League hitters destroy 75 MPH pitchers, regardless of arm angle
- ARod hit streak broken - expects NY papers to demand his trade
Headlines
- Wang pitches well - gets drilled by liner - keeps pitching well
- Carl Crawford is faster than most cars
- Welcome back Godzilla; Matsui hits a bomb
- Mike Myers proves that Major League hitters destroy 75 MPH pitchers, regardless of arm angle
- ARod hit streak broken - expects NY papers to demand his trade
Upcoming Week for the Yankees
Tuesday
- Chien Ming Wang makes his return
Wednesday
- Andy Pettitte to actually START a game
Thursday
- The Philip Hughes Era begins
This is the time to get back the three games where the Red Sox sodomized them
- Chien Ming Wang makes his return
Wednesday
- Andy Pettitte to actually START a game
Thursday
- The Philip Hughes Era begins
This is the time to get back the three games where the Red Sox sodomized them
ARod 4-5, 2 HR not enough for bullpen
Tampa Bay Baby Bombers take down Yanks
Headlines
- I know he (supposedly) had a good year last year, but every time I watch Scott Proctor pitch he sucks
- Igawa's control still not translating to English
- Thank God Andy Pettitte didn't make this trip, because you know Torre would have thrown him an inning
Headlines
- I know he (supposedly) had a good year last year, but every time I watch Scott Proctor pitch he sucks
- Igawa's control still not translating to English
- Thank God Andy Pettitte didn't make this trip, because you know Torre would have thrown him an inning
David Halberstam
Pulitzer Prize Winning author who chronicled Vietnam and gave us some of the best sports novels of all time dies at 73
Chase Wrong
Rookie looks good until 4 consecutive HRs do him in
Headlines
- Looks like the Yankees can handle the smiling foreigner, Baseball Borat
- ARod only gets one hit, its all his fault
- I still hate Mike Lowell's Little League World Series batting stance, I don't care how many HR's he hits
- Yanks swept as Posada, Matsui, Wang, Mussina, and even Pavano watch from a seated position - Jimmy Duggan is not worried
Headlines
- Looks like the Yankees can handle the smiling foreigner, Baseball Borat
- ARod only gets one hit, its all his fault
- I still hate Mike Lowell's Little League World Series batting stance, I don't care how many HR's he hits
- Yanks swept as Posada, Matsui, Wang, Mussina, and even Pavano watch from a seated position - Jimmy Duggan is not worried
4/21/07
Unlucky Sevens
Red Sox Pummel Yankee Pitching for 7 Runs (again) for the Win
Headlines
- Apparently Bruney made it to Boston just in time to pitch down 2 runs
- ARod scorches double, Manny plays hackey sack
- Jeff Kartens pitches horrible; face looks worse
- Was there a doubt in anyone's mond that Papi was going yard off of Butthead?
- Pap smear blows the doors off of Jeter and Abreu, leaving God on deck
- Yanks/Sox to match rookies on ESPN Sunday
Headlines
- Apparently Bruney made it to Boston just in time to pitch down 2 runs
- ARod scorches double, Manny plays hackey sack
- Jeff Kartens pitches horrible; face looks worse
- Was there a doubt in anyone's mond that Papi was going yard off of Butthead?
- Pap smear blows the doors off of Jeter and Abreu, leaving God on deck
- Yanks/Sox to match rookies on ESPN Sunday
Yankees v. Red Sox, Round 1
Mo Chokes, ARod is Clutch - Somewhere in New York a beat writer's head just exploded
Headlines
- ARod put the team on his back and leaves the yard twice off of the man who ate Curt Schilling after the 2005 season
- Pettitte steps up (like we didn't expect that)
- Mike Myers finally gives up that run we have been waiting for
- Johnny Damon smiles way too much in this series
- Apparently Brian Bruney missed the flight to Boston, because that's the only way I should be watching Luis Vizcaino throw the 8th
- Oh, Mo - Rivera missing spots by FEET, but the papers talk about the Red Sox having him "figured out"
Headlines
- ARod put the team on his back and leaves the yard twice off of the man who ate Curt Schilling after the 2005 season
- Pettitte steps up (like we didn't expect that)
- Mike Myers finally gives up that run we have been waiting for
- Johnny Damon smiles way too much in this series
- Apparently Brian Bruney missed the flight to Boston, because that's the only way I should be watching Luis Vizcaino throw the 8th
- Oh, Mo - Rivera missing spots by FEET, but the papers talk about the Red Sox having him "figured out"
4/20/07
4/18/07
Philip Hughes back to his usual, dominant self
6 IP
2 H
10 K
No way he is on the Scranton Richmond Philadelphia Pittsburgh Wilkes Barre Yankees come July
2 H
10 K
No way he is on the Scranton Richmond Philadelphia Pittsburgh Wilkes Barre Yankees come July
Attention MLB - Walk ARod
Rodriguez leaves the yard again as Igawa gets first win in the REAL Major Leagues
- Kei Igawa shows the control he has been rumored to have
- ARod extends season-long hitting streak
- Jason Giambi remembers what his job is and gets a couple hits
- Chris Britton throws another big, fat, scoreless inning
- Kei Igawa shows the control he has been rumored to have
- ARod extends season-long hitting streak
- Jason Giambi remembers what his job is and gets a couple hits
- Chris Britton throws another big, fat, scoreless inning
Alex Rodriguez' Projected Stats for 2007 Season
As Per ESPN.com
Games - 162
AB - 623
Runs - 187
Hits - 224
2B - 62
HR - 100
RBI - 262
SB - 12
BA - .360
OBP - .433
SLG - .940
...and that's the only way to get the NY press to shut the hell up
Games - 162
AB - 623
Runs - 187
Hits - 224
2B - 62
HR - 100
RBI - 262
SB - 12
BA - .360
OBP - .433
SLG - .940
...and that's the only way to get the NY press to shut the hell up
4/17/07
Mr. Wright
Chase Wins First of Many
Headlines
- It is just unfair that ARod is taking his frustration out on the rest of baseball
- Doug Mienrutheriufedv4bsd hits first (and probably last) HR in Pinstripes
- Posada hits another bomb, nobody notices
- Bruney=Lights out
- Mike Myers avoids the two-run, game tying double to a lefty that we are all waiting for
- Chris Britton closes game; Opens refridgerator
Headlines
- It is just unfair that ARod is taking his frustration out on the rest of baseball
- Doug Mienrutheriufedv4bsd hits first (and probably last) HR in Pinstripes
- Posada hits another bomb, nobody notices
- Bruney=Lights out
- Mike Myers avoids the two-run, game tying double to a lefty that we are all waiting for
- Chris Britton closes game; Opens refridgerator
Welcome to My Online Soap Box
MLB Needs to Retire Number 3
...and not for Mark Lorretta
This past Sunday, the legacy of Jackie Robinson was celebrated throughout Major League Baseball. Robinson's number 42 is retired throughout professional baseball, and rightfully so; he is a man who endured unfathomable trials and tribulations through his entire career. What I disagree with is the assumption that Jackie Robinson is the only player in the history of baseball to deserve such an honor. There is one other such man who is worthy of such a distinction: one George Herman Ruth.
Regarldess of fact and lore about his extra-curricular activities, one thing is true of Babe Ruth: he single-handedly saved the game of baseball from extinction. After the 1919 "Black" Sox threw the World Series for money (imagine a Major League Baseball player needing money HAHA), the sport was at an all time low. The country had soured on its favorite pastime, and cynical fans viewed it like modern sports fans view boxing; fixed.
But Babe Ruth captivated the country by hitting the ball deep, something they hadn't seen before. He hit more homeruns than every other team in the American League. He took the game that I love out of the crapper, and that is something that for which I will be eternally grateful. Every fan, player, owner, announcer, groundkeeper, and stadium parking attendant should be aware of, too. Bottom line; every pitch you have ever seen thrown was only allowed to happen because Babe Ruth stepped up when this game needed a hero. He put an entire sport on his back, and carried it back to prominence of national if not international proportions. Without Babe Ruth, there is no Jackie Robinson.
...and not for Mark Lorretta
This past Sunday, the legacy of Jackie Robinson was celebrated throughout Major League Baseball. Robinson's number 42 is retired throughout professional baseball, and rightfully so; he is a man who endured unfathomable trials and tribulations through his entire career. What I disagree with is the assumption that Jackie Robinson is the only player in the history of baseball to deserve such an honor. There is one other such man who is worthy of such a distinction: one George Herman Ruth.
Regarldess of fact and lore about his extra-curricular activities, one thing is true of Babe Ruth: he single-handedly saved the game of baseball from extinction. After the 1919 "Black" Sox threw the World Series for money (imagine a Major League Baseball player needing money HAHA), the sport was at an all time low. The country had soured on its favorite pastime, and cynical fans viewed it like modern sports fans view boxing; fixed.
But Babe Ruth captivated the country by hitting the ball deep, something they hadn't seen before. He hit more homeruns than every other team in the American League. He took the game that I love out of the crapper, and that is something that for which I will be eternally grateful. Every fan, player, owner, announcer, groundkeeper, and stadium parking attendant should be aware of, too. Bottom line; every pitch you have ever seen thrown was only allowed to happen because Babe Ruth stepped up when this game needed a hero. He put an entire sport on his back, and carried it back to prominence of national if not international proportions. Without Babe Ruth, there is no Jackie Robinson.
Yankees Split to Finish Oakland Series
Win Saturday, Heart-breaker Sunday
Headlines from Saturday
- Sorry folks, I fell asleep - Sportscenter said we won, and I believe them
Headlines from Sunday
- I am sure there were other events, but all I remember is 92 lb. Marco Scutaro hitting an absolute bomb off Mo to end it - it is burned in my brain right next to the walk-off he gave up to Bill Mueller (promounced "MILLER" for some stupid reason)
- Also, I liked Scutaro until I found out he wasnt italian
Headlines from Saturday
- Sorry folks, I fell asleep - Sportscenter said we won, and I believe them
Headlines from Sunday
- I am sure there were other events, but all I remember is 92 lb. Marco Scutaro hitting an absolute bomb off Mo to end it - it is burned in my brain right next to the walk-off he gave up to Bill Mueller (promounced "MILLER" for some stupid reason)
- Also, I liked Scutaro until I found out he wasnt italian
All Kidding Aside
Our deepest sympathies to the friends and families of the victims of that awful situation at Virginia Tech. You are in our prayers.
4/12/07
Maybe he can go to work for wEEEEEEEENbc
This photo of the love child of the Crypt Keeper and Rocky Dennis courtesy of Reuters
My Obligatory Don Imus Commentary
Bottom line, this is not a case of First Amendment rights - it is a case of first-rate stupidity. Did you see the list of sponsors that left Don Imus' show for these comments? Sorry folks, but money rules the world, and when Staples tells you to go screw, you can be sure to be unemployed pretty fast.
Enough of my cynicism though, have you SEEN Don Imus? Getting him off of that simulcast saved a lot of children from nightmares. I am convinced that he died in 1996 and they have been pulling a "Weekend at Bernie's" at public appearances ever since.
Fireworks, Volume 4
(Editor's note: The absence of the "Fireworks" column has been the fault of editor Jimmy Duggan. Two other fireworks columns will be posted in the near future, though not as relevant as they were when I received them. A thousand apologies, faithful lemmings. I now return you to your regularly scheduled rant)
The DogHouse
Who’s In: Mike Nifong – District Attorney Durham County, North Carolina. His improper handling of the Duke Lacrosse disaster has left 3 young men’s reputations ruined (though all charges have been dismissed), a full lacrosse season canceled and his own career in jeopardy (he is currently under North Carolina State Bar Review as well as having charges pending), all so he could get re-elected after taking the word of a lying whore. Well-played, ass.
Who’s Out: Ken Griffey, Jr. – Outfielder, Cincinnati Reds. Griffey’s request to wear number 42 as a tribute to Jackie Robinson on April 15th, the 60th anniversary of Robinson breaking baseball’s color barrier, was an amazing gesture. The response from baseball has been even better, letting at least one player on every team wear number 42 on April 15th and allowing the entire Dodger roster to wear number 42. Great job Junior.
Roger, Roger
If Roger Goodell was a boxer, he would have scored a knockout in his first professional bout. Goodell, who recently succeeded Paul Tagliabue as NFL Commissioner, handed down his first major ruling yesterday, two lengthy suspensions. The suspensions, 8 games for Bengals WR Chris Henry and the entire 2007 season for Titans CB Adam “Pacman” Jones, were announced along with the NFL’s new player conduct policy. Henry’s 4 arrests and “Pacman’s” 2 pending legal issues (not to mention the other 8 legal incidents he has been credited with since being drafted) prompted the actions. Goodell dropped the hammer on the players and certainly “established his presence with authority.”
Wrong is Wrong
The only thing that Don Imus did wrong is apologize. The Deputy Dog could write a novel about this topic, but it isn’t worth it. Say it ain’t so Don.
California Dreamin’
It’s true, the first meaningful thing related to football that the Raiders have done in about 3 years will come at the NFL draft. With whomever they select (The Deputy Dog still has smart money on LSU QB Jamarcus Russell) they will set off a chain reaction for the top 10 selections and shape the draft and 2007 season for many teams. They are the Raiders, so trust in the fact that they will fuck this up somehow. The world is waiting to see if Matt “The Biggest Franchise Killer This Side of Mike Vick” Millen will have the stones to draft another 1st round wide receiver with the second pick this year as highly rated prospect Calvin Johnson will almost certainly be on the board when the Lions pick at #2. Smart money say the Lions will trade out of the #2 pick and actually look smart in doing so.
The DogHouse
Who’s In: Mike Nifong – District Attorney Durham County, North Carolina. His improper handling of the Duke Lacrosse disaster has left 3 young men’s reputations ruined (though all charges have been dismissed), a full lacrosse season canceled and his own career in jeopardy (he is currently under North Carolina State Bar Review as well as having charges pending), all so he could get re-elected after taking the word of a lying whore. Well-played, ass.
Who’s Out: Ken Griffey, Jr. – Outfielder, Cincinnati Reds. Griffey’s request to wear number 42 as a tribute to Jackie Robinson on April 15th, the 60th anniversary of Robinson breaking baseball’s color barrier, was an amazing gesture. The response from baseball has been even better, letting at least one player on every team wear number 42 on April 15th and allowing the entire Dodger roster to wear number 42. Great job Junior.
Roger, Roger
If Roger Goodell was a boxer, he would have scored a knockout in his first professional bout. Goodell, who recently succeeded Paul Tagliabue as NFL Commissioner, handed down his first major ruling yesterday, two lengthy suspensions. The suspensions, 8 games for Bengals WR Chris Henry and the entire 2007 season for Titans CB Adam “Pacman” Jones, were announced along with the NFL’s new player conduct policy. Henry’s 4 arrests and “Pacman’s” 2 pending legal issues (not to mention the other 8 legal incidents he has been credited with since being drafted) prompted the actions. Goodell dropped the hammer on the players and certainly “established his presence with authority.”
Wrong is Wrong
The only thing that Don Imus did wrong is apologize. The Deputy Dog could write a novel about this topic, but it isn’t worth it. Say it ain’t so Don.
California Dreamin’
It’s true, the first meaningful thing related to football that the Raiders have done in about 3 years will come at the NFL draft. With whomever they select (The Deputy Dog still has smart money on LSU QB Jamarcus Russell) they will set off a chain reaction for the top 10 selections and shape the draft and 2007 season for many teams. They are the Raiders, so trust in the fact that they will fuck this up somehow. The world is waiting to see if Matt “The Biggest Franchise Killer This Side of Mike Vick” Millen will have the stones to draft another 1st round wide receiver with the second pick this year as highly rated prospect Calvin Johnson will almost certainly be on the board when the Lions pick at #2. Smart money say the Lions will trade out of the #2 pick and actually look smart in doing so.
Sorry people, some of us have jobs
Highlights from the last two games of the Twins series...
Game Two Headlines
- Ah, the Andy Pettitte of old, instead of old Andy Pettitte
- Why do people pitch to ARod???
- Good to see Damon not pull that calf on his HR trot
- Boof??? His name is Boof??
Game Three Healines
- Mussina hurt: I don't care I haven't respected him since he cried about the Japan trip
- ARod DOESN'T hit a home run, but continues his assault on the league by pummeling Joe Nathan
- In typical Yankee fashion, offense goes to hell against a mediocre journeyman pitcher
- Sean Henn looks to be the next to go down with shoulder fatigue, AKA "Torre Arm"
Game Two Headlines
- Ah, the Andy Pettitte of old, instead of old Andy Pettitte
- Why do people pitch to ARod???
- Good to see Damon not pull that calf on his HR trot
- Boof??? His name is Boof??
Game Three Healines
- Mussina hurt: I don't care I haven't respected him since he cried about the Japan trip
- ARod DOESN'T hit a home run, but continues his assault on the league by pummeling Joe Nathan
- In typical Yankee fashion, offense goes to hell against a mediocre journeyman pitcher
- Sean Henn looks to be the next to go down with shoulder fatigue, AKA "Torre Arm"
4/10/07
THIS JUST IN.....
After last nights excellent outing by Carl Pavano (7ip 2er 2K 0BB), yours truly the Deputy Dog secured an exclusive interview with the First Lady of Fowl Balls (the lovely girlfriend of our host Jimmy Dugan) and get her analytical assessment of Pavano's performance:
Deputy Dog: What did you think of Carl Pavano's performance last night against the Twins?
First Lady: He's still hot.
Check back later for more.
4/9/07
Looks Like Carl Is Due For Another Injury
Pavano Comes Up Big in Game 6
Headlines
- Looks like the Yankees might hit a little in '07
- Big Shot Bobby; OBP Abreu drives in 4
- ARod improving trade value
- Brian Bruney's tattoo is awesome!
- It still pisses me off to hear Justin Morneau referred to as the reigning AL MVP as he swings his bat like a lumberjack
Headlines
- Looks like the Yankees might hit a little in '07
- Big Shot Bobby; OBP Abreu drives in 4
- ARod improving trade value
- Brian Bruney's tattoo is awesome!
- It still pisses me off to hear Justin Morneau referred to as the reigning AL MVP as he swings his bat like a lumberjack
Photo of pre-nose job Jermaine Jackson courtesy of ESPN.com
4/8/07
Jesus, They Looked Bad
Yankees Lose on Easter
Headlines
- Rasner, ARod can't seem to keep the ball in the yard
- Cano taking fielding lessons from Jeter
- Nick Markakis is good - and his name sounds like "More-cockis"
- Johnny Damon's calf is so hurt that he legged out a stand-up triple
- Miguel Cairo started in left field today
- Off to the warmth of Minnesota
Headlines
- Rasner, ARod can't seem to keep the ball in the yard
- Cano taking fielding lessons from Jeter
- Nick Markakis is good - and his name sounds like "More-cockis"
- Johnny Damon's calf is so hurt that he legged out a stand-up triple
- Miguel Cairo started in left field today
- Off to the warmth of Minnesota
4/7/07
Jimmy Duggan Exclusive Interview
Robinson Cano
Armonk, NY - I had the priveledge of speaking with one of baseball's rising young stars today at an autograph signing in the small Westchester town of Armonk, NY. Robinson Cano, All-Star second baseman for the New York Yankees, smiled thorugh our entire conversation, exuding the image of a young man having fun playing a kid's game. After going 1 for 5 in a roller coaster win for the Yankees that ended in a walk of grand slam by Alex Rodriguez, Robbie sat with Fowl Balls to talk about the season ahead.
JD - "Good luck this season"
RC - "Thank you"
A man of few words, Cano gave this gracious interview without any prior prompt or notice. His boyish visage hung on my every word, and he seemed genuinely thankful that I would go out of my way to wish he and his teammates well as they embark on yet another season with championship expectations.
Can We Get Off His Ass Now?
ARod Hits a Game-Winning Slam to the Black Seats
Headlines
- Igawa wasn't as bad as his line looked; or his glasses
- I can't wait to see how the NY papers spin an "ARod Sucks" article out of this
- Matsui hurts hamstring, Cairo replaces him, I get pissed
- Jeter hobbled, still plays. Somebody make Johnny Damon take notes please
- Giambi hits clutch homer and continues to look JUST like Lattimer in the Program
Headlines
- Igawa wasn't as bad as his line looked; or his glasses
- I can't wait to see how the NY papers spin an "ARod Sucks" article out of this
- Matsui hurts hamstring, Cairo replaces him, I get pissed
- Jeter hobbled, still plays. Somebody make Johnny Damon take notes please
- Giambi hits clutch homer and continues to look JUST like Lattimer in the Program
Yankees Continue to Lose to Teams that Suck
Mussina Awful in 2007 Debut
Headlines
- Jeter Injurs foot, Now Almost as Slow to His Left as He is to the Right
- Miguel Tejada Not as Fat as Last Year
- ARod Loses Another Game Single-Handedly
Headlines
- Jeter Injurs foot, Now Almost as Slow to His Left as He is to the Right
- Miguel Tejada Not as Fat as Last Year
- ARod Loses Another Game Single-Handedly
4/5/07
Too Cold for the Old
Pettitte Struggles in Return Outing,
Yankees 1-1 in Minor League Play
Headlines
- The Way Jeter Goes Left Reminds Us of Another Famous Derek
- Jae Wong Seo, Thanks for Everthing, Julie Newmar
- Elijah Dukes Inches Closer to Having More Homeruns than Arrests
- Miguel Cairo Sees First Action; Yankees Lose....Coincidence?
Headlines
- The Way Jeter Goes Left Reminds Us of Another Famous Derek
- Jae Wong Seo, Thanks for Everthing, Julie Newmar
- Elijah Dukes Inches Closer to Having More Homeruns than Arrests
- Miguel Cairo Sees First Action; Yankees Lose....Coincidence?
4/2/07
Opening Day, Sort of
Yankees Begin Final Tuneup for Actual Major League Season by Playing the Devil Rays
Headlines
- Bonus Baby: Scouts Project Christopher Lidle as Mets 2008 Opening Day Starter
- Let's not freak out, but Pavano looked OK for almost five innings
- Posada solid as always; just as commonly overlooked
- Wow, ARod really sucks
- Damon Leaves Game Due to Vaginitis - Pap Smears Negative
- The Kids are Alright: When not commiting felonies, the Rays' youngsters can play
- Bullpen strength: Bruney, Henn, Vizcaino, Farnsworth, and Rivera combine for 4 2/3 shutout innings
- No Shit: Not One Team in the Major Leagues Wanted Andy Phillips
Headlines
- Bonus Baby: Scouts Project Christopher Lidle as Mets 2008 Opening Day Starter
- Let's not freak out, but Pavano looked OK for almost five innings
- Posada solid as always; just as commonly overlooked
- Wow, ARod really sucks
- Damon Leaves Game Due to Vaginitis - Pap Smears Negative
- The Kids are Alright: When not commiting felonies, the Rays' youngsters can play
- Bullpen strength: Bruney, Henn, Vizcaino, Farnsworth, and Rivera combine for 4 2/3 shutout innings
- No Shit: Not One Team in the Major Leagues Wanted Andy Phillips
Jimmy Duggan on Location: Spring Training 2007
One would imagine that a three hour flight to watch a game that doesn't count for anything would not be much of a thrill for a life-long Yankee fan who longs for the pressure-filled contests of late September. But to the contrary, my first trip to Legends Field was both exciting and memorable from beginning to end.
I couldn't believe what I was feeling as our hotel shuttle appoached One Steinbrenner Way (that's right, he named the street after himself; and this is why I love this man). It was the same feeling I had when I was seven years old and my parents were driving me to my first Yankee game. Goosebumps. I had goosebumps in 85 degree heat. The shuttle let us off right in front of Legends Field, and I was awestruck. I say "we" because I was accompanied by the First Lady of the Fowl Balls empire, my beautiful girlfriend. So, as you may imagine, I was doing my best to play it cool and avoid her finding out that I am a complete dork; this lasted for about seven minutes.
The first thing we saw as we got off the bus was a grass area that displayed the numbers that have been retired throughout Yankee history. To be able to see these up close without having to show up at the stadium four hours early so you can get into monument park was amazing. Though it was incredibly challenging, I resisted the urge to take a picture of each one with my digital camera in front of the First Lady. It was at this point that she informed me that she had to powder her nose, so I reluctantly waited for her to return as I watched a few of the pitchers that the Yankees had in camp from a distance as they got their tossing in on an adjacent field. My keen knowledge recognized Mike Mussina, Carl Pavano, Brian Bruney, and Chien-Ming Wang. When the First Lady returned, I tried not to rip her arm out of the socket to get a closer look. I watched intently through a chain link fence as the group of pitchers got loose, and then it happened. As Pavano finished his session and started walking toward our piece of fence, it happened; the exchange that follows is an exact account of the conversation that took place between myself and the First Lady:
FL - "Who is that"
JD - "Carl Pavano"
FL - "He's hot!"
JD - "No he isn't, hes a pussy"
FL - "Let's go get his autograph"
At first I was aphalled that she had the nerve to comment about Pavano, of all people. Then I saw an opening: if we DID get his autograph, I could go completely fruitcake fanboy and she would think it was her idea all along! As we ran, yes, ran, to the Clubhouse store, I was thankful that the Yankees signed Pavano for the first time. I bought a 5x7 aerial photo of Legends Field and a Sharpie marker, and we headed back to the fence. Carl was gone, but there were now others signing by the fence, and more pitchers were throwing than before. (Sidenote: as I was watching the second wave of pitchers throw, something struck me; Mike Myers was throwing overhand while he was tossing. WHAT THE HELL? Do what the Yankees pay you to do while you are on their time. Throw sidearm asshole.) Anyways, the Frst Lady and I proceeded to work a two-man game that Stockton and Malone would be proud of. We seemlessly transitioned between autograph seeker and photographer, making several pristine handoffs in the process. When all was said and done, we had obtained signatures from Scott Proctor, Darrell Rasner, and prospect Mark Melancon along with multiple pictures of each. Whatever coolness I maintained when we got to the stadium was now completely shot to shit.
By the time we entered the stadium, I had my camera bag strapped across my chest like Indiana Jones, looking like a complete douche. The inside of Legends field is completely breathetaking. Just like its Bronx counterpart, it has what looks to be the greenest grass in with world, along with the same trademark facade of the House that Ruth Built. I truly hope that the players on the Tampa Yankees are aware of how priveledged they are, because I have been to some complete crap holes in my Minor League travels.
After we took it all in, it was time to watch baseball. In the first inning, the First Lady had the quote of the afternoon:
FL - "I miss Yankee Stadium. These fans are boring. It's like there is a mass going on"
After I had a nice giggle, I explained that Yankee fans really don't give a shit about spring training: it's just an opportunity to get better seats thatn you can afford up north.
Ok, now some analysis. Kei Igawa started the game, and I am less than thrilled that the Yankees have put so much stock in him. Once again, his stat line was not an eyesore, but it just did not tell the whole story. Igawa was missing spots by feet rather than inches, nearly dislocating Jorge Posada's shoulder on several pitches. Mariano Rivera threw a perfect inning, looking sharp as always. The highlight of the day (for me, anyway) was watching newly annointed Yankee Josh Phelps dril his fourth home run of the spring over the left field wall. Though it may be disappointing, that is all the baseball there was to talk about on this day. After all, it is spring training and as a true Yankee fan, I didn't give a shit about what went on on the field. The game ended in a 3-3 tie for Christ's sakes.
The afternoon ended with me taking a picture of every retired number in front of the stadium. Not only did the First Lady not call me gay, she even asked someone to take a picture of the two of us in front of Mattingly's number 23. Looks like this one's a keeper, folks.
I couldn't believe what I was feeling as our hotel shuttle appoached One Steinbrenner Way (that's right, he named the street after himself; and this is why I love this man). It was the same feeling I had when I was seven years old and my parents were driving me to my first Yankee game. Goosebumps. I had goosebumps in 85 degree heat. The shuttle let us off right in front of Legends Field, and I was awestruck. I say "we" because I was accompanied by the First Lady of the Fowl Balls empire, my beautiful girlfriend. So, as you may imagine, I was doing my best to play it cool and avoid her finding out that I am a complete dork; this lasted for about seven minutes.
The first thing we saw as we got off the bus was a grass area that displayed the numbers that have been retired throughout Yankee history. To be able to see these up close without having to show up at the stadium four hours early so you can get into monument park was amazing. Though it was incredibly challenging, I resisted the urge to take a picture of each one with my digital camera in front of the First Lady. It was at this point that she informed me that she had to powder her nose, so I reluctantly waited for her to return as I watched a few of the pitchers that the Yankees had in camp from a distance as they got their tossing in on an adjacent field. My keen knowledge recognized Mike Mussina, Carl Pavano, Brian Bruney, and Chien-Ming Wang. When the First Lady returned, I tried not to rip her arm out of the socket to get a closer look. I watched intently through a chain link fence as the group of pitchers got loose, and then it happened. As Pavano finished his session and started walking toward our piece of fence, it happened; the exchange that follows is an exact account of the conversation that took place between myself and the First Lady:
FL - "Who is that"
JD - "Carl Pavano"
FL - "He's hot!"
JD - "No he isn't, hes a pussy"
FL - "Let's go get his autograph"
At first I was aphalled that she had the nerve to comment about Pavano, of all people. Then I saw an opening: if we DID get his autograph, I could go completely fruitcake fanboy and she would think it was her idea all along! As we ran, yes, ran, to the Clubhouse store, I was thankful that the Yankees signed Pavano for the first time. I bought a 5x7 aerial photo of Legends Field and a Sharpie marker, and we headed back to the fence. Carl was gone, but there were now others signing by the fence, and more pitchers were throwing than before. (Sidenote: as I was watching the second wave of pitchers throw, something struck me; Mike Myers was throwing overhand while he was tossing. WHAT THE HELL? Do what the Yankees pay you to do while you are on their time. Throw sidearm asshole.) Anyways, the Frst Lady and I proceeded to work a two-man game that Stockton and Malone would be proud of. We seemlessly transitioned between autograph seeker and photographer, making several pristine handoffs in the process. When all was said and done, we had obtained signatures from Scott Proctor, Darrell Rasner, and prospect Mark Melancon along with multiple pictures of each. Whatever coolness I maintained when we got to the stadium was now completely shot to shit.
By the time we entered the stadium, I had my camera bag strapped across my chest like Indiana Jones, looking like a complete douche. The inside of Legends field is completely breathetaking. Just like its Bronx counterpart, it has what looks to be the greenest grass in with world, along with the same trademark facade of the House that Ruth Built. I truly hope that the players on the Tampa Yankees are aware of how priveledged they are, because I have been to some complete crap holes in my Minor League travels.
After we took it all in, it was time to watch baseball. In the first inning, the First Lady had the quote of the afternoon:
FL - "I miss Yankee Stadium. These fans are boring. It's like there is a mass going on"
After I had a nice giggle, I explained that Yankee fans really don't give a shit about spring training: it's just an opportunity to get better seats thatn you can afford up north.
Ok, now some analysis. Kei Igawa started the game, and I am less than thrilled that the Yankees have put so much stock in him. Once again, his stat line was not an eyesore, but it just did not tell the whole story. Igawa was missing spots by feet rather than inches, nearly dislocating Jorge Posada's shoulder on several pitches. Mariano Rivera threw a perfect inning, looking sharp as always. The highlight of the day (for me, anyway) was watching newly annointed Yankee Josh Phelps dril his fourth home run of the spring over the left field wall. Though it may be disappointing, that is all the baseball there was to talk about on this day. After all, it is spring training and as a true Yankee fan, I didn't give a shit about what went on on the field. The game ended in a 3-3 tie for Christ's sakes.
The afternoon ended with me taking a picture of every retired number in front of the stadium. Not only did the First Lady not call me gay, she even asked someone to take a picture of the two of us in front of Mattingly's number 23. Looks like this one's a keeper, folks.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
