Because nobody else will...

Fowl Balls Defends ARod's Rights (even if he is a scumbag)

For the first time this season, the Alex Rodriguez shit show re-appeared.

The NY Post reported that ARod was seen bringing a busty blonde back to his hotel room after frequenting an upscale gentlemen's club. I don't want to alarm anyone, but this type of behavior is not news within the realm of Major League Baseball. The fact is that if we banned players for being general scumbags, we would have no heroes. From Cobb to Mantle, and Ruth to Rose it has been proven over and over for the past hundred years that the most amazing athletes can be the most questionable of human beings. The problem with this article run by this poor excuse for a periodical is that it should have never been published. This is not something that will stop with Alex Rodriguez. Now every player is subject to this scrutiny, leaving ARod, Jeter, and Damon as open to paparazzi photogs as Hilton, Lohan, and (insert third spoiled, stupid, skinny, skank here). I sincerely hope that the lapse in judgement by this one tabloid-level paper doesn't ruin the Yankee coverage that I enjoy that is presented by reputable journalists.

The Yankees are terrible

...and I don't want to write about it.

Curt Schilling blames his big, fat, ignorant mouth on tourette's syndrome, plans to start blog detailing his struggle with the disease

38twitches.com to launch shortly

National Lampoons Van Wilder 3: The Fall of Bernie (A Deputy Dog Exclusive)

Giving the commencement address at Iona College in New Rochelle, NY this past Saturday was like the fountain of youth for Bernie Williams. So much so that he is making a move, back home. Williams is currently in negotiations with his parents to return home and re-occupy his childhood bedroom. Williams feels the move is appropriate based on his exit from Major League Baseball being very similar to a graduation (see Junior Seau). Williams' mother fears that her son is only moving home because that is the only contact number that Brian Cashman has for him and Bernie doesn't want to miss that important call from the Yankee GM (maybe that's why it hasn't happened in the past 6 months). More on this story to follow.

Could anyone be stupid enough to trade for a 36 year old ex-MVP with declining skills, a huge contract, and an unfavorable past?

YOU BETCHA! That's right, the third guy from the right in every group scene in Goodfellas wants Jason Giambi

Source

Sox even series 1-1

Tavarez shuts down Yanks, Mussina looks his age

Headlines
- It is high, it is far, it is caught - ARod's bid for 4th straight game with a homer comes up 5 feet short

- Giambi Trade-O-Meter takes another dip

- Manny being Manny again: Hits another tape-measure shot off Yanks starter

- Note: www.fowlballs.blogspot.com will be in attendence at tomorrow's series finale, expect an extensive account on Thursday

Yankees win first game of the season

Wang, ARod return to form in 6-2 beating
Headlines
- Giambi homers, trade value increases
- Manny Ramirez: Defensive specialist?
- Wang, this is a restricted club, don't tell them you're jewish
- Tavarez v. Moose up next

If Jason Giambi was any dumber, he would forget to inject his own ass

Somebody euthanize this retard for the good of the human race. He was later quoted as saying, "Oh, wait; isn't that stuff, like, illegal?"

Source

Please Brian Cashman, find a way to dump him

Screw Alanis Morrisette, THIS is Irony

Iona College students confused by concept of a "commencement" address delivered by a guy who doesn't know when it's over (The Journal News)

Source

The Season Starts Today

The Yankees have been awful, there is no doubt. From here on out, they will be the best team in baseball. Thus far, every single possible break has escaped the team, while the Red Sox have played mistake free baseball without having to cover for any major injury. Neither of these can keep up. This three game series will serve as the springboard back to the top of the AL East.

$40 million heist completed

Tommy John surgery likely to end Carl Pavano's tenure in New York (HBO Photo)

Rocket makes some poor college catcher crap himself

Clemens works out with team from University of Kentucky.

Editor's note. Expect daily updates on the progress of Roger Clemens. I really don't care if it gets old.

This is what they were SUPPOSED to look like

Yankees beat Texas to open series

Headlines
- Doug Mientosjdfv4bwf is hitting AND fielding - this can't last
- ARod makes Fowl Balls look like a bunch of jerk offs
- The borderline obcene love affair between the Yankees propoganda network and Andy Pettitte continues
- Team brass still refusing to sacrifice live chicken for Bobby Abreu

After further review...

The column about the re-signing of Roger Clemens did not display the child-like excitement that has overcome us since the monumental event. There has been alot of critics that have called his surprise announcement "excessive", but I disagree. I think the Yankees should have made him slide down from The Boss' suite on a zip line while throwing hundred dollar bills to the crowd with William Shatner doing his spoken word version of "Rocket Man" on the Diamond Vision. Let's get one thing straight, he is the greatest pitcher of all time. He can do whatever he wants, and it will be supported by all who write for and visit this site.

Stay tuned...

Updates on the way, including the first annual www.fowlballs.blogspot.com "Absolutely Irrelevant NFL Draft Column"

Rocket Re-Launch

Clemens signs with Yankees, www.fowlballs.blogspot.com win award for "Most Original Headline" (AP Photo)

Seattle Can't Hit Starters

But the bullpen is getting peed on
- Matt DeSalvo looks like Mariano Rivera, while Rivera looks like shit
- Did anyone else notice that ARod stoped hitting?
- Yankees now best team in MLB in 7 inning games

Since we last spoke...

The Yankees went 4-3
- Hughes takes the pressure in stride, his hammy does not
- The man who cursed the Yankees' hamstrings is now unemployed
- Igawa sucks
- Karstens has nasty leg injury, still not as ugly as his face
- Starting pitching is suddenly untouchable, and now the bullpen can't get an out