Good Luck Bro

According to MLBTR, noted ball thief Doug Mientkiewicz has signed with the Florida Marlins. South Florida baseball writers just cursed in unison. Full disclosure, this is barely news and I certainly wouldn't be posting about it if Doug wasn't my BFF on Twitter.

Barry Zito is a douchebag

As you all know, I am on twitter (follow me). One of the celebrity athletes that I am 'following' is Barry Zito. Yes, Barry Zito: the biggest thief since Carl Pavano. The similarities continue, as they seem to enjoy using their under-sized genitalia to bang the same women as well (although Zito actually has the testicles to pitch poorly, rather than fake multiple injuries to avoid doing so).

Anyways, I was reading some 'tweets' today, and came across one that made me want to leave the oven on in Barry Zito's apartment while he was sleeping:

BarryZito - Off day in LA, so many options!...Malibu lunching, Fred Segal, Dukes beakfast, Pooling in the hills, Drumming in my house, what a town

The fact that this ass helmet is so embarassingly bad at his job, yet has a $126 million contract and days like this to galavant around L.A. makes me so mad that I can barely sit here and type quietly while my boss isn't looking. FML.

New feature

One of my tech savvy (read: dork) friends told me I should be on Twitter. I had no idea what that meant, but he is smarter than me, so I did it anyways. Click on the twitter logo in the left frame to follow our "tweets". Gay.