Fireworks, Volume 4

(Editor's note: The absence of the "Fireworks" column has been the fault of editor Jimmy Duggan. Two other fireworks columns will be posted in the near future, though not as relevant as they were when I received them. A thousand apologies, faithful lemmings. I now return you to your regularly scheduled rant)

The DogHouse
Who’s In: Mike Nifong – District Attorney Durham County, North Carolina. His improper handling of the Duke Lacrosse disaster has left 3 young men’s reputations ruined (though all charges have been dismissed), a full lacrosse season canceled and his own career in jeopardy (he is currently under North Carolina State Bar Review as well as having charges pending), all so he could get re-elected after taking the word of a lying whore. Well-played, ass.
Who’s Out: Ken Griffey, Jr. – Outfielder, Cincinnati Reds. Griffey’s request to wear number 42 as a tribute to Jackie Robinson on April 15th, the 60th anniversary of Robinson breaking baseball’s color barrier, was an amazing gesture. The response from baseball has been even better, letting at least one player on every team wear number 42 on April 15th and allowing the entire Dodger roster to wear number 42. Great job Junior.

Roger, Roger
If Roger Goodell was a boxer, he would have scored a knockout in his first professional bout. Goodell, who recently succeeded Paul Tagliabue as NFL Commissioner, handed down his first major ruling yesterday, two lengthy suspensions. The suspensions, 8 games for Bengals WR Chris Henry and the entire 2007 season for Titans CB Adam “Pacman” Jones, were announced along with the NFL’s new player conduct policy. Henry’s 4 arrests and “Pacman’s” 2 pending legal issues (not to mention the other 8 legal incidents he has been credited with since being drafted) prompted the actions. Goodell dropped the hammer on the players and certainly “established his presence with authority.”

Wrong is Wrong
The only thing that Don Imus did wrong is apologize. The Deputy Dog could write a novel about this topic, but it isn’t worth it. Say it ain’t so Don.

California Dreamin’
It’s true, the first meaningful thing related to football that the Raiders have done in about 3 years will come at the NFL draft. With whomever they select (The Deputy Dog still has smart money on LSU QB Jamarcus Russell) they will set off a chain reaction for the top 10 selections and shape the draft and 2007 season for many teams. They are the Raiders, so trust in the fact that they will fuck this up somehow. The world is waiting to see if Matt “The Biggest Franchise Killer This Side of Mike Vick” Millen will have the stones to draft another 1st round wide receiver with the second pick this year as highly rated prospect Calvin Johnson will almost certainly be on the board when the Lions pick at #2. Smart money say the Lions will trade out of the #2 pick and actually look smart in doing so.