Leave This Poor Man Alone

According to the horrifically depleted nj.com, a man named Ryan Ward has been brought up on charges for impersonating Yankees pitcher Joba Chamberlain. He's charged with scamming a Belmar bagel shop out of free food last summer after allegedly telling an employee, "Do you know who I am?" and pointing to a photo of Chamberlain in a newspaper sports section. To me, this is an outrage. Close your eyes and imagine you are Joba Chamberlain. Pretty cool, right? You are the toast of New York, with an infectious personality and a right arm worth millions. Keep your eyes closed. Now imagine you are Joba without all of those things. Would that make you happy? Could you imagine living life as a fat asshole that has to act like someone famous to get some AquaNet laden girl to talk to him in the armpit of New Jersey? Yeah, things would be different then, wouldn't they. So, I ask the court, give Ryan Ward a break. True he did get a free bagel, but at the game of life he still loses.