Have vagina, till travel

Apparently Minnesota is the latest port for the USS Douchenozzle, as the Twins have acquired Carl Pavano.

Pavano has already topped the win total for his CAREER as a Yankee THIS SEASON. Yet he still gets work. Excuse my while I go slam my head in a car door.

New Uniform, Same Douchebag

Everybody's favorite vagina Carl Pavano had his first start as an Indian today, and here is his final line:

1 IP, 6 H, 9ER, 3 BB, 1 K

Good luck, Cleveland!

Happy V Day

From the biggest V of them all.

Breaking News: Carl Pavano is Still a World Class Vagina

Somebody call the WAAAAAAAAAAAAAmbulance. In an article on MLB.com, Carl Pavano had this to say about his tenure in New York: "When you're down, you expect your organization to pick you up, not kick you when you're down. I've had to pick myself up quite a few times the last four years." In response to Mr. Pavano, The Fowl Balls has this to say: shut the f*ck up. After four years of subpar pitching, lying about car accidents, and (throw in obligatory ass injury joke here), the fact that this so-called professional has the audacity to slam the Yankees is deplorable. I think that the only thing that the Yankees were 'required' to pick up was the tab for your abortion of a contract. I swear that Carl Pavano reads The Fowl Balls. Ever since this article was posted in April of 2007, this moron has done nothing but intentionally piss me off. I hate you Carl Pavano. Now go win 20 games in Cleveland, turn it into another contract that you don't deserve, and continue to be the Skeletor to my He-Man. Update: I just realized that in my hatred for Carl Pavano, I have neglected his fans. For those of you Carl Pavano fans in the Cleveland area, I would like to extend an olive branch to keep you on as loyal readers. Click here, and have a great time this weekend!

And This is Why We Hate You All

Boston fans, your team failed you. The money making maching that is the Boston Red Sox lost out on a premium free agend by roughly $120 million dollars, so you would figure that their fans would be LIVID at management right? Wrong. Their so-called sportswriters and cry-baby blogs would rather blame the Yankees for their problems once again. First, Tony Masseroti writes an article demonizing the Yankees and even further demonizing Teixeira himself. At the end of the day, Mark Teixeira is a Scott Boras client. This had to do with little other money. The Yankees signed Sabathia and Burnett. Great. $12 million would have made Mark Teixeira sing the praises of the Red Sox in the streets.
Source: http://www.boston.com/sports/columnists/massarotti/2009/01/curious_case_of_teixeira_far_f.html

This brings us to our favorite sour grapes display, provided to you courtesy of Boston Dirt Dogs. These drunken Irish frat boys actually liken the Yankees signing of a 29 year old, durable, stud first baseman to the signing of Carl Pavano. CARL PAVANO. It must be hard to avoid typos while you are dropping tears and snot all over your keyboard.
Source: http://bostondirtdogs.boston.com/2009/01/welcome_to_yankee_stadium.html

With the Patriots missing the playoffs, and now this, I was not sure that I could be happier. The topper will be when their championship caliber Celtics sign proverbial cancer Stephon Marbury to blow up their team. F*ck you all.

With the Economy in Recession, the Indians are Preparing to Flush Money Down the Crapper

From www.mlbtraderumors.com; According to ESPN's Buster Olney, the Indians are in serious discussions with free agent starter Carl Pavano. Pavano will visit Cleveland soon and a deal could be wrapped up quickly. We'll have to see if Pavano can come close to the $2MM guaranteed Mike Hampton received from the Astros. Good luck with that. Luckily for the Indians, this contract will likely be paid out of the "Free Money From the Yankees Fund" that most small market teams use to cover payroll.

Winter Meetings: Day 1

Here is the latest news on the Yankees' activity at the Winter Meetings, with links included:

CC Sabathia - There seems to be reason piling up as to why CC does not want to play in New York, with the most recent being that he wants to train in Arizona according to SI's John Heyman. However, the Yankees seem to be confident that the 140,000,000 reasons that they will land Sabathia will be enough. Also, according to Peter Abraham, the Yankees have met with CC twice since the meetings started.
Sources - http://www.fannation.com/si_blogs/hot_stove/posts/30144-brewers-open-to-upping-efforts-to-keep-cc, http://yankees.lhblogs.com/2008/12/08/update-from-the-suite/

Robinson Cano - Somebody is lying here. First there was a report by Fox's Ken Rosenthal that teased our collective penis that the Dodgers had re-opened discussions about Cano and possibly Melky Cabrera for Matt Kemp, and about ten minutes later Dodgers GM Ned Colletti stated that he hadn't spoken with the Yankees since July.
Sources - http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb/story/8912072, http://www.yankees.lhblogs.com/

AJ Burnett - Lots of buzz around the injury-waiting-to-happen today. Heyman reported that the Yankees are aggressive, and about to make an offer. Ken Rosenthal also reported that Burnett reached out to training room buddy Carl Pavano to ask about the Yankees. I wonder how that conversation went...

AJ - Hey Carl, what do you have to say about the Yankees?
Carl - They have a beautiful facility in Tampa.
AJ - What about playing in New York City?
Carl - I heard it is wonderful.
Sources - http://www.fannation.com/si_blogs/hot_stove/posts/30383-yanks-ready-to-top-braves-offer-for-burnett, http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb/story/8912072

Mark Teixeira - Though Cashman flew to DC to meet with Teixeira last week, there was no offer made according to Tyler Kepner of the New York Times.
Source - http://bats.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/12/08/yanks-meet-with-sabathia-again/

Andy Pettitte - Abraham says that the Yankees have no meeting scheduled with Pettitte's agents.
Source - http://yankees.lhblogs.com/

Ben Sheets - In maintaining the "pitchers that are a strain away from a career ending injury" theme, the Yankees met with Sheets, and are about to extend an offer.
Source - http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/baseball/yankees/2008/12/08/2008-12-08_yankees_brewin_up_multiyear_offer_for_fr.html

Derek Lowe - Not a whole lot on Lowe today, except that his "priority is winning" when searching for a new team according to Ken Gurnick of mlb.com. This may be an advantage for the Yankees, unless they fail to make significant improvements before spring training.
Source - http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20081206&content_id=3704514&vkey=hotstove2008&fext=.jsp&partnerId=rss_mlb

Check back tomorrow for a recap of Day 2, and keep checking http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/ for information. Tim Dierkes is doing one hell of a job compiling information on the Yankees and the rest of the MLB, totaling over 70 posts today.

There is no god

Source: Brian Cashman mulling wild pitch to bring back Carl Pavano
BY MARK FEINSAND

DANA POINT, Calif. - When Carl Pavano walked off the mound on Sept. 25, most people assumed it would be the last time he would ever wear a Yankees uniform.
Not so fast.
Pavano, one of the biggest free-agent busts of all-time, could wind up back with the Bombers this winter as the Yankees look to fill three spots in their starting rotation.

If you have been reading this blog in the past, I dont feel it's necessary to waste my time typing whether we support this move or not, so I will take this time to show post a picture of a delicious chocolate chip cookie.