Bahahahahahahahaha

According to sources, Johnny Damon is about to be offered about $4 million** to play for the White Sox this year. This is a far cry from the 2 year, $26 million deal that Scott Boras set as a bare minimum in negotiations with the Yankees. Good. What Boras and Damon did here is a classic overvalue of Damon's value to the Yankees. Sure, he hit 24 homers last year, and had his "Yankeeography" moment when he stole two bases on one play in the World Series. But the fact is he is an aging player that plays atrocious defense and cannot be depended on physically enough to lock up for two years.

To me, this is another example of the Yankees organization having the right people in charge. The Steinbrenners, in my opinion, would have thrown the money at Damon as a reward for time served. Luckily, people like Brian Cashman head up the baseball operations now, and moves like this let us know that is a good situation to be in.

**Before I start getting emails about it, please know that I am fully aware that John Heyman is reporting that the Tigers are offering 2 years at $14 million, but he is a fucking Boras-controlled marionette and I refuse to believe anything that he reports in concern to Boras clients until they come to fruition.

You'll be missed

Well, it looks like Johnny Damon will be breaking 100 bats a year somewhere else. See my rousing tribute piece over at Barstool Sports.

The Yankees are now waiting for Johnny Damon to return on his hands and knees

Now that the Giants have signed Aubrey Huff, it looks as though the options for Johnny Damon and his rigoddamnediculous $30 million demands are drying up. You know what that means? Cashman was right again. At first , I didn't agree with the thought of re-signing Damon, mostly because I thought it was the Yankees best interests to sign Matt Holliday (albeit before the Cardinals crippled their franchise and overpaid the shit out of him). Since it looks like the team is holding out to sign Carl Crawford after the 2010 season, Damon at $6-7 million for a year makes all of the sense in the world. At that number you are paying Johnny Damon what would be his actual value, instead of what his Yankee Stadium numbers, and not to mention Scott Boras, may say that he is worth.

At that price, we can actually talk about Damon's actual value to a club - instead of how a multi-year contract could end up looking in three years. A multi-year deal would have us weighing Damon's age and projected decline. In this instance, we as analysts have the ability to say the Yankees have secured a player that CHONE projects to be a 3.2 win player at a premium price. Not to mention making Brett Gardner the fourth outfielder, a position that we all know is where he belongs.

If/when Damon returns, we will be able to one again blow inordinate amounts of smoke up Brian Cashman's ass for another savvy, shrewd move. Personally, I have come to expect nothing less.

Should the Yankees re-sign Johnny Damon?

Over the past 3+ season, Johnny Damon has quietly become one of the most productive free-agent signings of the Brian Cashman Era. His numbers, impressively, have stayed on par with his four years in Boston (better in some cases), while experiencing a relatively graceful defensive demise.

When the Yankees signed Damon to a four year deal at 32 years old, the move prompted some fans (myself included) to throw our hands up and bitch about the Yankees "doing the same things they did in the 80's". This consisted of buying or trading for players well above market value based on star power, and watching them crap the bed over the life of the deal. Players like Carl Pavano, Kevin Brown, and arguably Jason Giambi all fit this mold, but Damon has busted through to become a much-better-than-league-average player in his 32 through 34 seasons, and has continued into his 35 season by winning the much lauded, highly respected Player of the Week Award this week.

This leads to the question (the suspense of which I have already ruined in the title. Internet journalism at its finest): seeing as though he is a free agent after the season, should Johnny Damon be brought back to the Bronx in 2010?

We all know about Austin Jackson, who continues to tear through the minors(.365/.432/.452/.884 at SWB), en route to being the next Yankees centerfielder. But as much buzz as there is around AJax, he is still far from a sure thing. He has struck out 27 times in 28 games this season, and has yet to hit a home run in his first 104 at bats. The uncertainty surrounding Jackson could be the least of the Yanks' outfield worries in 2010, with the team (most likely) losing Hideki Matsui and Xavier Nady to free agency, and having already seen that Brett Gardner sucks rhinoceros sack.

With all of these questions, one thing is clear - the team will be in desparate need of depth come this offseason. The team will undoubtedly be tied to players like Matt Holliday and Jason Bay once the market opens up, as they are always in the mix on big names. Though they are great players, the track record that Johnny Damon has built is undeniable - and the price tag would not be near as much. With players like Bobby Abreu signing one year, make-good contracts in the $5 million range this past offseason, one can only imagine that Damon would be looking at similar deals.

After his first three years in the Bronx, and being off to a world beating start in 2009, Damon has played his way into contention for a deal in 2010. And for one year, he is absolutely worth it.

Johnny Damon may not be an idiot

In reaction to the horrifically overblown comments made by Alex Rodriguez yesterday, Johnny Damon had this to say:

"Obviously, we know how talented Jose Reyes is," Damon told The Post. "I know Alex loves me as a teammate and leading off. Jose Reyes still has 10 to 15 years in the tank; I have five at the most."

So there. The headline of this article by George A. King III actually suggests that not only was the comment a slight to Derek Jeter, but also Damon because A-Rod mentioned that he would love to see Jose Reyes "batting leadoff" for the Yankees. We are reaching now, gentlemen.

After spending double the gross national product of Guam on names like Sabathia, Teixeira and Burnett this offseason, one would assume that professional writers would have plenty of material for columns about the Yankees. But we all know what happens when we assume; you make an ass out of Uma Thurman.

Looking Toward 2009

On a topic that will be the subject of much debate over the next few months, the Yankees look poised to make some substantial moves in the rapidly approaching offseason. In classic if-I-were-GM fashion, the following is a list of moves that The Fowl Balls feels will benefit the club going forward.

Sign CC Sabathia
Regardless of the push for a low-cost youth movement, the Yankees will forever be a team with a payroll in the stratosphere. Over the course of his career, CC has proved to be a durable, innings-eating pitcher that consistently performs at an elite level. On those merits alone he seems to be a good fit for the team, and when added to the fact that he is left handed this makes him a must-have acquisition. The team has a load of payroll coming off the books (roughly $88 million) and have plenty of room to add a superstar pitcher, even if they will be forced to grossly over pay for him.

Trade Robinson Cano
The more one watches Cano play, the more one becomes frustrated. Mark my words; Robinson Cano will win at least one batting title in his career. Unfortunately, he will also have seasons like this one, where is arguably one of the worst full time players in baseball (thanks to Melky Cabrera FINALLY given the Fredo treatment). On talent alone, it seems that Cano could be moved for a young, talented pitcher that is more proven than the young, talented pitchers that the team already owns. Names like Zach Grienke have been thrown around as potential matches in a Cano trade, and only a fool would turn down such a player at this point. After yesterday's game, Robbie's OBP fell below .300. Alfonso Soriano was run out of town after a much more productive season, and I expect the same for Cano.

Offer Bobby Abreu Salary Arbitration
Personally, I hope he declines and the Yankees are awarded compensation as he will be a Type A free agent. However, there are worse things that could happen than Abreu accepting and playing right field for another season.

Sign Orlando Hudson
Obviously, this is contingent on trading Cano, but I can hope. The Yankees would do well to add Hudson, a Gold Glover, to the mix on a defensively inferior club. He is also a speedy, switch-hitting, contact hitter that can handle the bat that the lineup could benefit from.

Don't Sign Mark Teixeira
Great fielder, good hitter, and I am sure he is a hell of a nice guy, but whoever gives him the 8-10 year contract will be pulling their hair out by year 5.

Move Damon or Matsui to First Base, attempt to Trade the Other
I know, I know. I am sure that I will get flack for this based on the infamous Gary Sheffield Experiment from a few years ago, but hear me out. Both players, especially Damon, are superior athletes to Sheffield at the time the Yankees attempted to move him to first. Given an entire offseason and Spring Training to prepare, I feel that either of these players could provide serviceable defense at a higher level than Jason Giambi has provided this season. Also, these players both have some type of value on the trade market; Matsui as a DH, and Damon as an everyday player.

Move Derek Jeter to Left Field
What blasphemy is this you ask? Derek Jeter, though marginally improved this season, is a terrible fielder. If Abreu declines arbitration, which we hope he does, Xavier Nady would then become the everyday right fielder, leaving a void in left when Damon or Matsui is moved to first base. The time has come to think of the team, and not just Jeter's legacy. I found it tough to swallow when the team acquired the best shortstop in baseball history, coming off of his second gold glove, and moved him to third base. Even though Alex Rodriguez would no longer be able to play the shortstop position, there are better options on the free agent market including, but not limited to, Rafael Furcal, and our personal preference, Orlando Cabrera.

Trade for Gerald Laird
Acquiring a younger option at the catcher position can only help. This season proved the perceived risk of signing Jorge Posada to a long term deal was a very real concern. The Yankees could deal from a position of strength by using their glut of young pitching to make this deal (PLEASE take Ian Kennedy!).

Re-sign Mike Mussina, Send Andy Pettitte to Pasture
While Moose has learned to pitch with the garbage that he has left, Andy has looked terrible this year no matter what the Yankees Propaganda Machine feeds us about him being a big game pitcher. Using Mussina as a #4 starter is a solid option on any contending squad.

Stick With Phil Hughes
Hughes is NOT Ian Kennedy, and will, at some point, be a very good Major League pitcher. Hughes was dominant the other night in the AAA playoff, going 8 shutout innings on only 94 pitches. It took Cliff Lee a trip to the minors to figure it out too.

Promote Mark Melancon and Austin Jackson From Day 1
The answer that the Yankees were looking for in their bullpen was right under their nose all season, but they were afraid to rush Melancon after TJ surgery. A career closer in college, Melancon can handle the high leverage innings that the Yankees will need him to. As for Jackson, he is still raw, but could provide a serviceable first season a la Adam Jones in Baltimore. The rest of this lineup should be able to cover for a player like Jackson who, even now, is a much better option than both Brett Gardner and Melky Cabrera.

Don't Sign AJ Burnett
He is a guy with phenomenal stuff that cannot stay healthy. We don't need an older version of Joba, thank you very much. Plus he has been bitten by the curse of Alyssa Milano.

Sign Manny Ramirez
In what would have to be the shove-it-up-your-ass move of the century, the Yankees would have to make this move to protect ARod in the lineup. Though he may seem like a pricey option at approx. $15-17 million, the guys flat out produces when happy. Case in point: he is batting .407 since his move to the west coast. With Manny in the DH slot batting third, this lineup once again becomes formidable with the uncertainty surrounding Jorge Posada. Paired with an improved pitching staff, this team could be deadly.

So, without further ado, your 2009 Yankees Opening Day Lineup after the perfect offseason:
P - CC Sabathia
C - Gerald Laird/Jorge Posada
1B - Johnny Damon
2B - Orlando Hudson
3B - Alex Rodriguez
SS - Orlando Cabrera
LF - Derek Jeter
CF - Austin Jackson
RF - Xavier Nady
DH - Manny Ramirez