Jimmy Dugan's Crystal Ball

June, 2007 - Yankees Make Two Blockbuster Acquisitions Before Deadline

After playing respectable baseball thus far in the 2007 season, the Yankees have added pitchers Roger Clemens and Philip Hughes to their starting rotation. Kei Igawa will be moved to the bullpen as a left-handed long man whom Joe Torre plans to pitch every day until his arm is fried like a wonton. This move opens up two spots in the rotation, following the (insert petty injury or buttocks related cheapshot here) suffered by Carl Pavano.

The addition of Clemens and Hughes makes the Yankees rotation as formidable as its offense. The rotation looks to shape up like this:

1 - Clemens

2 - Wang

3 - Pettitte

4 - Mussina

5 - Hughes

Reports out of the Boston area cited a 5% increase in suicides, and a 123458729% increase in whining. Once again, the area fans will be forced to divise clever sayings to put on t-shirts knocking the Yankees, as opposed to actually catching them in the AL East standings.