Mark McGwire: The biggest fraud in sports

What's good everyone? Hope you had a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. This is Sancho, back from the dead. In reality, I've been dealing with some shitty work hours and have been out of the loop for a while. But I'm not here to talk about the past. I'm here to talk about the future. Or more specifically, the piece of shit known as Mark McGwire.

Now, a disclaimer. I don't hate on the man because he did steroids. Far from it. I could care less about what these athletes do to themselves for our entertainment. What bothers me about this whole McGwire public apology tour is that it is the phoniest, most self serving pile of shit that I have ever heard in my life.

First off, someone should tell Little Mac that there's no crying in baseball. When A-Rod got caught red handed, he didn't break down and start sobbing like a little pussy. And if anyone thinks Marky Mark would have admitted to this if he wasn't getting a job with the Cardinals is delusional. He's self serving to the bitter end.

Another thing that really pissed me off was his lame ass response as to why he didn't admit to this when he was called up to congress in 2005. He was "afraid" of prosecution. Bullshit. Jose Canseco wrote a whole fucking book in which he admitted that he was the Godfather of the steroid era, and the Feds didn't do shit to him. McGwire thought he could get away with his little dog and pony show when he went before Congress, but unfortunately the court of public opinion doesn't accept memory loss as an alibi.

It is actually comical that he tries to portray himself as some sort of victim. He said that he wishes he wasn't part of the steroids era. Oh yeah? Then you would have been the modern day Rob Deer, you fucking jackass. He could hit for power before steroids, but that's it. A one trick pony. He owes his entire career to the juice. He's no Barry Bonds. At least Barry was a Hall of Fame caliber player before he started juicing.

Also, a big fuck you goes out to Tony LaRussa, everyone's favorite drunken uncle. Don't try and pretend that you didn't know what was going on. You knew from the start, and probably enabled the big red haired sack of shit to keep juicing.

And now it's come out that this whole media blitz has been orchestrated by Ari Fleischer, former White House press secretary. That's all this is anyway, a big fucking show by a desperate man who feels no remorse. He's only sorry that he got caught.

Lastly, but certainly not least, a big fuck you goes out to the biggest dipshit of all, Bud Selig. He's a sleazy used car salesman masquerading as Commissioner. He likes to talk about integrity of the game, but he could care less. He turned a blind eye to this problem all these years, and now he wants to act like its over. Newsflash Buddy, players are still juicing. It's called HGH. That drug you don't test for. So eat a big steaming shit sandwich, you fucking pathetic stooge.

Other than that, congratulations Mark!

The Pope is Catholic

...and Mark McGwire did steroids through the vast majority of his career. Wake me when something comes across the wire that is actually fucking newsworthy.

Hey, Boston fans: STFU

It looks like Christmas came early for Jimmy Dugan. After enduring endless amounts of shit from my Red Sox fan friends about the Yankees' links to steroids, I have been vindicated.

The New York Times is reporting that both David Ortiz AND Manny Ramirez were on the list of 104 steroid users in 2003 (you know, the list that A-Rod was on?). This further proves that the "report" conducted by George Mitchell isn't worth the paper that it was printed on. Despite Mitchell's best efforts to avoid the public indictment of any Boston player, his efforts will now be futile.

So, in short, screw you all. This does nothing but prove that EVERYONE was guilty, and no holier-than-thou fanbase has the right to thumb their noses at the rest of the offenders any longer*.

*Though this is the same group that had the balls to act like Rodney Harrison thing never happened, so I guess only time will tell if this does anything to pare back their douchebaggery.

Looks like somedoby is due for a piss test

5 for 5, 4 RBIs in 11-1 route of Texas

Congratulations to the Red Sox on their newest acquisition (pictured below)

It's about time

After the report executed by US Senator (and Red Sox consultant) George Mitchell mysteriously excluded any players of significance on the 2004 OR 2007 World Championship teams, it looks as though Manny Ramirez has tested positive for a PED.

While there is plenty of room for boner jokes in this story (and Lord knows I am phenomenal at them), I am far too enthralled with the fact that the championships that ended an eighty-six year drought could very well be tainted.

Once one half of the most feared slugging tandem in baseball, Ramirez was arguably the most important player in Boston during his tenure. Along with David Ortiz (who is constantly hurt now, ahem), Manny destroyed the Yankees, and everyone else, seemingly every night.

After enduring the taunting from Red Sox fans and journalists alike, it may be time for everyone in baseball to wake up: EVERYONE was doing this. And, apparently, Manny Ramirez still is. And he has tiny testicles (Sorry, had to be done).

Who's To Blame?

The Deputy Dog is barking mad!

Enough is enough, already. Stop the shenanigans. PLEASE! I beg of you in the name of all that is holy.

What does it tell us when the two most honest sports figures of our time are Jose Canseco and Sir Charles Barkley?

It tells us that Barkley was correct. Athletes are not role models. Sports don’t owe us any morality and athletes don’t owe children who buy their jerseys any parenting. That’s what they have PARENTS for.

Alex Rodriguez did not cause the steroid era in baseball. Neither did Mark McGwire, Andy Pettitte, Roger Clemens or Barry Bonds. As a matter fact, despite the fact that he has done the most in my lifetime to kill the great game I love, Alan H. “Bud” Selig did not even cause the steroid era.

So who did cause the steroid era? Who is the evil villain that gave us this modern day plague on our house?

Donald Fehr.

This man convinced the MLB Players Union that the 1994 strike was a good idea. It wasn’t.

The darkest, coldest fall on record was 1994. No baseball. No world series. No Cal Ripken. Nothing but millionaires and multi-millionaires fighting over a couple of billion dollars, all at the urging of Mr. Fehr.

The delayed start of the 1995 season pushed Ripken’s record breaking game back even further and probably cost Mike Mussina his first 20 win season. Thanks Don.

Even after the game was back, the fans weren’t. How does an average joe making 30 grand a year justify going to a game were these guys just stopped working because $8 million a year wasn’t enough?

For the second time in history, the great game needed to be saved. The first time we can blame the Blacksox Scandal. The second time, we have no choice but to blame Don Fehr.

How could Bud Selig go after steroids when the union had there foot on his throat? How could he stop the one thing that was bringing back the fans? Chicks dig the long ball. As a matter of fact, everyone digs the longball.

Just look at the ratings for the 1998 season if you don’t believe. I know where I was the night Mark McGwire launched that ball over the left field fence at the old Busch Stadium. I am betting you do too.

Don Fehr did this. Bud couldn’t stop it. The players merely did what these two men forced them to do. They were pawns in the greater game.

Don’t blame Alex Rodriguez or Brady Anderson or Rafael Palmeiro. Please. It’s enough already. They are no different than the beer league softball player that buys the $600.00 titanium bat to hit balls 450 feet. They just want to play ball and be great. Don Fehr pushed. Bud turned a blind eye. We asked. They delivered.

So get off their asses.

A-Rod Press Conference

Hat tip to Was Watching and SNY for providing the video. (although I wish I had audio so I didn't have to watch every stupid face that A-Rod makes. I reccommend closing your eyes after hitting play. Unless you are deaf, then carry on with the video.)

Is This Over Yet?

Is anyone else sick and f*cking tired of watching Alex Rodriguez make Jim Halpert faces on national television? He looks like he just got caught putting Derek Jeter's jock strap in a Jell-O mold.

The Alex Rodriguez Interview

Well, he admitted it. The greatest player of our, or possibly any generation used performance enhancing drugs. Below I have posted just a few thoughts I had after getting to watch the interview, conducted by Peter Gammons, in its entirety. If you have not had the chance to watch the whole interview, ESPN has posted the full transcript.

• In my opinion, Rodriguez did a commendable job. Not only did he cop to the use of a banned substance in 2003, he offered up the fact that he was also using in 2001 and 2002. Though he will be reviled throughout the baseball community, and rightfully so, A-Rod has admitted more than any other player that has been caught using PEDs. Barry Bonds will soon be in jail for perjuring himself on the subject. Roger Clemens has attempted to fight Brian McNamee's claims head-on, despite new findings of DNA evidence. Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire have fallen off the face of the earth. Rafael Palmeiro, after the most famous "point" in baseball since Babe Ruth in the 1932 World Series, blamed Miguel Tejada for giving him a tainted supplement. Even Andy Pettitte, our Lord and Savior, hid behind injury as a "reason" for using illegal substances. Alex Rodriguez stepped to the plate, and admitted that he succumbed to pressure. Not hard to believe after Yankee fans have watched him fold under pressure for years.
• He was wearing a beautiful Rolex Daytona. Though this was not what many would deem an important part of the interview, I like watches.
• Peter Gammons did a horrific job. Though history will revere Gammons as a Hall of Fame journalist (and world-class Red Sox whore), the ball was clearly dropped on this interview. Gammons let A-Rod off the hook repeatedly, completely abandoning the use of the follow-up question. Rodriguez answered every question put in front of him, but Gammons did not go off script at all. When A-Rod said that he did not remember where he got the drugs or even what he took, should he not have been taken to task for that ignorance?
• A-Rod showed a side that the public had not seen before. He showed emotion, approaching tears at times, and made multiple statement tarnishing the image that he has been so conscious of for the last 15 years. He admitted to being weak and giving into the pressures of the large contract that he received prior to 2001. All of a sudden, even though he will be killed for this all over the press, the American publis may actually have more to identify with in the case of Alex Rodriguez.
• His lips were perfect. Plump, full, and glossy.
• Like everything that Alex Rodriguez has done since he was eighteen years old, this interview was premeditated. There were points when he seemed more human, but the fact is that this was all scripted. It seems that even when he says the right things, they don't seem genuine.
• Rodriguez still refuses to admit any conversations with Jose Canseco on the subject of steroids. I am not going to pretend that I know anything about the interaction between the two men, but one would have to be an idiot to think that Canseco just made a bunch of stuff up about a bunch of players and it all just happened to be true.
• Fact: if he hits .300/.400/.600 this year and the Yankees win a ring, nobody will give a flying sh*t.

The Breakup

If this was high school, I would be sitting in my bedroom crying listening to the mixtape that Alex made for me. I bet "Hold My Hand" by Hootie and the Blowfish would be the first song. After all that we had been through, this is what he has put me through. After countless arguments with my father over his lack of 'clutchness', his frosted hair, that horrible Guitar Hero commercial, and banging a fossil, this son of a b*tch goes and admits to doing steroids?!?!?!?! He could have at least lied about it and claimed innocence, but no. He would rather ruin every holiday at the Dugan household for all eternity.

That being said, this leaves me with a hole in my life. Leave some comments and suggestions for who will take over as the player that I gush over now that Roger Clemens and Alex Rodriguez have betrayed my trust.

Report: All of the Best Players in Baseball Did Steroids

Get ready for the "A-Roid" chants. According to a report at SI.com, Alex Rodriguez tested positive for a PED in 2003 while playing with the Texas Rangers. So cue the Katie Couric interview where he denied it, I am sure it will be on NESN 834568 times tonight. It is now fair to assume that every player who hit more than 25 home runs since 1988 has had the business end of a needle in their ass.

By the way, there is a new poll in the left-hand frame. "Vote or Die. No, really, I will kill you." - Sean Combs.