According to OK! Magazine Alex Rodriguez and Cameron Diaz were spotted kissing or canoodling or whateverthefuck. Some guys walk into a party and look for the hottest girl to hook up with, but A-Rod's dick is different. It follows fame like a fucking GPS. Look, aside from Manny Ramirez, Alex Rodriguez is the best right-handed hitter that we have seen, but this bullshit sideshow just has to stop. He won back a ton of people this year, and became about as popular as a confirmed wife-cheating douchebag can be, but he just seems hell bent on fucking it up again. The whole Kate Hudson thing was fine I guess, but the fact is that he should be out pounding 22 year old models, not chasing around has-been pushing 40. If there is one thing you can learn from Derek Jeter, it's how to bang chicks. Catch them before they are mega famous (Scarlett Johansson, Jessica Alba), not when they are hitting the downslope (Madonna, Kate Hudson). That being said, if he hits 50 bombs I could care less if he is fucking corpses between innings.
Showing posts with label tmz bs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tmz bs. Show all posts
2/10/10
A-Rod can't keep away from the old bitches
According to OK! Magazine Alex Rodriguez and Cameron Diaz were spotted kissing or canoodling or whateverthefuck. Some guys walk into a party and look for the hottest girl to hook up with, but A-Rod's dick is different. It follows fame like a fucking GPS. Look, aside from Manny Ramirez, Alex Rodriguez is the best right-handed hitter that we have seen, but this bullshit sideshow just has to stop. He won back a ton of people this year, and became about as popular as a confirmed wife-cheating douchebag can be, but he just seems hell bent on fucking it up again. The whole Kate Hudson thing was fine I guess, but the fact is that he should be out pounding 22 year old models, not chasing around has-been pushing 40. If there is one thing you can learn from Derek Jeter, it's how to bang chicks. Catch them before they are mega famous (Scarlett Johansson, Jessica Alba), not when they are hitting the downslope (Madonna, Kate Hudson). That being said, if he hits 50 bombs I could care less if he is fucking corpses between innings.
1/11/10
Congratulations, Derek
Even though I wrote a post about the Global letdown that it will cause for men living vicariously through him, we congratulate Derek Jeter on his upcoming wedding to Minka Kelly that is (reportedly) set to take place this November. Tiger gets caught in a shit storm, TMZ launched a sports site, and all of a sudden Derek Jeter settles down. Coincidence?
1/12/09
Now That's More Like It
In news that uplifted my spirits and faith in humanity, the First Lady passed this little gem on to me this morning. Apparently Alex Rodriguez was spotted out on a romantic date with Kate Hudson. It's like he was in bed with Madonna one night and thought to himself "this is exactly what I want, except 40 years younger". I have been living for months unable to escape the notion that the greatest baseball player on the planet could do no better than a washed up, veiny, saddle bag of a pop star. Even though she doesn't start my motor, Kate Hudson certainly fits the bill of superstar girlfriend. Thank you Alex. Thank you for making the world make sense again. |
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