Roberto Alomar has FBA

According to a report by the NY Daily News, former All-Star second baseman Roberto Alomar "has full-blown AIDS but insisted on having unprotected sex, his ex-girlfriend charged Tuesday in a bombshell lawsuit." This seems out of character for Alomar, who was always viewed as a model citizen thorughout the major leagues. No word on whether he spilled the cup of broth on his robe during the altercation.

I sure am glad that I am not famous, because then things like this would be made public:

In April 2005, Alomar told (the accuser) he was suffering from erectile dysfunction and confided "he was raped by two Mexican men after playing a ballgame in New Mexico or a Southwestern state when he was 17," the suit says.

From sure-fire Hall of Famer to adolescent victim of anal pleasures. Oh, how far you have fallen, Robbie.

(hat tip to MLBTR)

The Alex Rodriguez Interview

Well, he admitted it. The greatest player of our, or possibly any generation used performance enhancing drugs. Below I have posted just a few thoughts I had after getting to watch the interview, conducted by Peter Gammons, in its entirety. If you have not had the chance to watch the whole interview, ESPN has posted the full transcript.

• In my opinion, Rodriguez did a commendable job. Not only did he cop to the use of a banned substance in 2003, he offered up the fact that he was also using in 2001 and 2002. Though he will be reviled throughout the baseball community, and rightfully so, A-Rod has admitted more than any other player that has been caught using PEDs. Barry Bonds will soon be in jail for perjuring himself on the subject. Roger Clemens has attempted to fight Brian McNamee's claims head-on, despite new findings of DNA evidence. Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire have fallen off the face of the earth. Rafael Palmeiro, after the most famous "point" in baseball since Babe Ruth in the 1932 World Series, blamed Miguel Tejada for giving him a tainted supplement. Even Andy Pettitte, our Lord and Savior, hid behind injury as a "reason" for using illegal substances. Alex Rodriguez stepped to the plate, and admitted that he succumbed to pressure. Not hard to believe after Yankee fans have watched him fold under pressure for years.
• He was wearing a beautiful Rolex Daytona. Though this was not what many would deem an important part of the interview, I like watches.
• Peter Gammons did a horrific job. Though history will revere Gammons as a Hall of Fame journalist (and world-class Red Sox whore), the ball was clearly dropped on this interview. Gammons let A-Rod off the hook repeatedly, completely abandoning the use of the follow-up question. Rodriguez answered every question put in front of him, but Gammons did not go off script at all. When A-Rod said that he did not remember where he got the drugs or even what he took, should he not have been taken to task for that ignorance?
• A-Rod showed a side that the public had not seen before. He showed emotion, approaching tears at times, and made multiple statement tarnishing the image that he has been so conscious of for the last 15 years. He admitted to being weak and giving into the pressures of the large contract that he received prior to 2001. All of a sudden, even though he will be killed for this all over the press, the American publis may actually have more to identify with in the case of Alex Rodriguez.
• His lips were perfect. Plump, full, and glossy.
• Like everything that Alex Rodriguez has done since he was eighteen years old, this interview was premeditated. There were points when he seemed more human, but the fact is that this was all scripted. It seems that even when he says the right things, they don't seem genuine.
• Rodriguez still refuses to admit any conversations with Jose Canseco on the subject of steroids. I am not going to pretend that I know anything about the interaction between the two men, but one would have to be an idiot to think that Canseco just made a bunch of stuff up about a bunch of players and it all just happened to be true.
• Fact: if he hits .300/.400/.600 this year and the Yankees win a ring, nobody will give a flying sh*t.

The Breakup

If this was high school, I would be sitting in my bedroom crying listening to the mixtape that Alex made for me. I bet "Hold My Hand" by Hootie and the Blowfish would be the first song. After all that we had been through, this is what he has put me through. After countless arguments with my father over his lack of 'clutchness', his frosted hair, that horrible Guitar Hero commercial, and banging a fossil, this son of a b*tch goes and admits to doing steroids?!?!?!?! He could have at least lied about it and claimed innocence, but no. He would rather ruin every holiday at the Dugan household for all eternity.

That being said, this leaves me with a hole in my life. Leave some comments and suggestions for who will take over as the player that I gush over now that Roger Clemens and Alex Rodriguez have betrayed my trust.

One Door Closes...

As cited at our favorite website, it seems that the addition of Andruw Jones could leave the Texas Rangers with a bit of a personnel logjam in the outfield (while, at the same time, making Deputy Dog cry). What does this have to do with the Yankees, you ask? Well, stop asking questions before I have finished my thought you idiot. I bet you are one of those people that yells at the TV. Hold your horses for Christ's sake.

Anyway, in case you haven't noticed, the Yankees could be in need of a centerfielder. See where I am going here? Could the Rangers have the answer to the Yankees problems? Did Han shoot first?

Tim Dierkes talks about this at his site, and Joel Sherman (YAY!) also had a piece with the suggestion, but hell, I am going to say it anyways. How about Marlon Byrd? Once a super-prospect that was supposed to pair with Jimmy Rollins to create a dynamic 1-2 punch for the Phillies, Byrd has resurrected himself as a viable player in Arlington. He plays good defense, gets on base, and only costs a little over $3 million for the 2009 season. If the price is right as far as the trade demands of the Rangers, this could be a no-brainer.

Report: All of the Best Players in Baseball Did Steroids

Get ready for the "A-Roid" chants. According to a report at SI.com, Alex Rodriguez tested positive for a PED in 2003 while playing with the Texas Rangers. So cue the Katie Couric interview where he denied it, I am sure it will be on NESN 834568 times tonight. It is now fair to assume that every player who hit more than 25 home runs since 1988 has had the business end of a needle in their ass.

By the way, there is a new poll in the left-hand frame. "Vote or Die. No, really, I will kill you." - Sean Combs.

The Balls Continues its Assault on the Interhighway

Yours truly wrote a small piece for Steve Lombardi over at Was Watching. I encourage you to take a look at his site, as he does a great job over there of following Yankees news (but we are funnier - take THAT legitimate reporters!).

Paul Quantrill Has Sooooooome Balls

In the latest article by Richard Griffin concerning the Joe Torre book, there are some interesting quotes from ex-Yankee DFA Paul Quantrill (with an emphatic hat tip to Was Watching). Just read the quote, and I will comment afterward:


"Whatever his involvement is with this book, Joe Torre is the No.1 guy," [Paul] Quantrill argued. "People may understand that he didn't say that, but even being Joe Torre, being the greatest manager, blah-blah-blah, he's walking a thin line. When you start exposing anything from the clubhouse in general, whether it's about a d*ckhead like 'the fraud,' or anything, it doesn't really matter. It's that you opened up and said it."

First and foremost, good for you, Paul Quantrill, for taking Joe Torre to task for breaking the sacred code of the locker room. Good for you.

Now to the real story: did this motherf*cker just call Alex Rodriguez a d*ckhead? If he was here right now, dude would catch a roundhouse Walker: Texas Ranger boot from JD. I don't think it's Alex's fault that Joe Torre pitched your arm off. Ok, ok. I guess you have a right to be bitter. You were an all-star one minute, then the next minute you had thrown in 13451845832 consecutive games, rendering you ineffective, and therefore causing the Yankees to send you off on an ice drift. Now go back to milking cows, selling insurance, giving HJ's on the corner, or whatever the f*ck it is that you do. Phew. That feels better.

Contrary to Popular Belief...

...apparently Ramiro Mendoza is not dead.

Forever the JV Team

Oliver Perez signed a 3 year $36 million deal with the Mets. At that AAV, that means he will make more money in 2009 than Andy Pettite, Milton Bradley, Pat Burrell, Kerry Wood, Brian Fuentes, Edgar Renteria, Casey Blake, Raul Ibanez, Jon Garland, Brad Penny, John Smoltz, Trevor Hoffman, Guillermo Mota and Daniel Cabrera. After embarassing themselves on Derek Lowe and never really throwing a hat in the ring on Ryan Dempster, this is the topper. Paying an inconsistent pitcher who led the league in walks (again) when the team is in desperate need of a solid two starter behind Johan Santana is deplorable. Look at the list of afforementioned players and think how many would have been useful to the Metropolatinos at a discounted price. They are still in need of a power hitting corner outfielder (Pat Burrell???), and starting pitching depth. Plus, another report surfaced today that the Mets are not in on Bobby Abreu or Manny Ramirez , and there is still no sign of interest in Adam Dunn as far as I see. With Carlos Delgado coming off of the books after this year, a two year, $20 million investment in Dunn seems like a deal that even a shaved monkey could figure out. The offseason started off well with the signing of K-Rod and the larceny of J.J. Putz from the Mariners, but follow through is needed. They now have a solid back of the bullpen, a questionable offense and a starting rotation that is (maybe) four deep. Think about that every time Oli walks ten in four innings, Mets fans. Oh, and good luck overtaking the World Champion Phillies. But at least there is meringue night to look forward to. Then to put the cherry on all of this, I am once again forced to source Joel Sherman. I hate this team.

Orioles Ownership to The Fowl Balls: F*ck You.

Just two weeks after stealing Felix Pie from under our noses, the Baltimore Orioles have taken Deputy Dog's advice, and traded for Rich Hill in exchange for absolutely nothing. The deal for the mental case will net the Cubs a PTBNL, most likely a "low-level minor leaguer". Another nice, high upside move by the Orioles as they continue their arms race with the Blue Jays to avoid last place.