It's about time

Yesterday a story broke that the Florida Marlins have been reprimanded by both Major League Baseball and the Players' Association for not spending the money they received through revenue sharing on baseball operations.

Since their inception, the Marlins have had a pretty predictable modus operandi - build a winner, then dismantle it by selling it off, piece by piece. It has brought the Franchise not one, but two World Series titles in their short history, but it has also made them the poster child for what is wrong with the revenue sharing process. They haven't won a title in six years, and typically we would all be waiting for the rising of the Marlins in 2010. To the contrary, their have been reports of them trying to trade slugging second baseman Dan Uggla this offseason, and even whispers about Josh Johnson, their staff ace, being available.

People can bitch and complain about the Yankees' spending habits, but I find this absolutely fucking repugnant. This is exactly what Hank Steinbrenner meant when he told the Associated press that the Yankees are "basically baseball's stimulus package" last February. Teams like the Marlins have been hoarding the money that has been given to them with the sole purpose of making them more competitive, and they should be retracted for it.

Because of the Yankees (and let's not discount the low-budget Red Sox), there is a lot of screaming and yelling demanding a salary cap, but I am not so sure that the high end of the spending spectrum is the real problem here. What may be more prudent would be a salary floor, forcing teams to spend a percentage of their revenue+revenue share on players and baseball operations, as opposed to pocketing proceeds. You can't tell me that the Florida Marlins don't have enough money to lock up Josh Johnson - that's horseshit. This is a team that just got a new ballpark approved, and they aren't paying for it (thanks Florida taxpayers!). Meanwhile, the Yankees go into hock up to their asshole, and still spend on the product that they are putting on the field. Am I saying that the Marlins need to be spending $200 million on payroll every year? Of course not. But would it be exhorbitant to set an annual number at, say, $50-60 million? No way.

If teams like the Marlins can't afford to put a quality product out there and take advantage of the large Miami market, one of two things needs to happen: 1, the league could demand that the team be put up for sale, and allow an owner like Mark Cuban to give a shit about the team's results or 2, the team could be contracted. I, for one, would be much happier watching 25 teams that compete year in and year out than having another 5 teams whose seasons are over in April **coughPiratescough**. For now, I commend the MLB and the MLBPA for at laest speaking up on the issue - but it is far from resolved.

Mark McGwire: The biggest fraud in sports

What's good everyone? Hope you had a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. This is Sancho, back from the dead. In reality, I've been dealing with some shitty work hours and have been out of the loop for a while. But I'm not here to talk about the past. I'm here to talk about the future. Or more specifically, the piece of shit known as Mark McGwire.

Now, a disclaimer. I don't hate on the man because he did steroids. Far from it. I could care less about what these athletes do to themselves for our entertainment. What bothers me about this whole McGwire public apology tour is that it is the phoniest, most self serving pile of shit that I have ever heard in my life.

First off, someone should tell Little Mac that there's no crying in baseball. When A-Rod got caught red handed, he didn't break down and start sobbing like a little pussy. And if anyone thinks Marky Mark would have admitted to this if he wasn't getting a job with the Cardinals is delusional. He's self serving to the bitter end.

Another thing that really pissed me off was his lame ass response as to why he didn't admit to this when he was called up to congress in 2005. He was "afraid" of prosecution. Bullshit. Jose Canseco wrote a whole fucking book in which he admitted that he was the Godfather of the steroid era, and the Feds didn't do shit to him. McGwire thought he could get away with his little dog and pony show when he went before Congress, but unfortunately the court of public opinion doesn't accept memory loss as an alibi.

It is actually comical that he tries to portray himself as some sort of victim. He said that he wishes he wasn't part of the steroids era. Oh yeah? Then you would have been the modern day Rob Deer, you fucking jackass. He could hit for power before steroids, but that's it. A one trick pony. He owes his entire career to the juice. He's no Barry Bonds. At least Barry was a Hall of Fame caliber player before he started juicing.

Also, a big fuck you goes out to Tony LaRussa, everyone's favorite drunken uncle. Don't try and pretend that you didn't know what was going on. You knew from the start, and probably enabled the big red haired sack of shit to keep juicing.

And now it's come out that this whole media blitz has been orchestrated by Ari Fleischer, former White House press secretary. That's all this is anyway, a big fucking show by a desperate man who feels no remorse. He's only sorry that he got caught.

Lastly, but certainly not least, a big fuck you goes out to the biggest dipshit of all, Bud Selig. He's a sleazy used car salesman masquerading as Commissioner. He likes to talk about integrity of the game, but he could care less. He turned a blind eye to this problem all these years, and now he wants to act like its over. Newsflash Buddy, players are still juicing. It's called HGH. That drug you don't test for. So eat a big steaming shit sandwich, you fucking pathetic stooge.

Other than that, congratulations Mark!

The Pope is Catholic

...and Mark McGwire did steroids through the vast majority of his career. Wake me when something comes across the wire that is actually fucking newsworthy.

Congratulations, Derek

Even though I wrote a post about the Global letdown that it will cause for men living vicariously through him, we congratulate Derek Jeter on his upcoming wedding to Minka Kelly that is (reportedly) set to take place this November. Tiger gets caught in a shit storm, TMZ launched a sports site, and all of a sudden Derek Jeter settles down. Coincidence?

The Yankees are now waiting for Johnny Damon to return on his hands and knees

Now that the Giants have signed Aubrey Huff, it looks as though the options for Johnny Damon and his rigoddamnediculous $30 million demands are drying up. You know what that means? Cashman was right again. At first , I didn't agree with the thought of re-signing Damon, mostly because I thought it was the Yankees best interests to sign Matt Holliday (albeit before the Cardinals crippled their franchise and overpaid the shit out of him). Since it looks like the team is holding out to sign Carl Crawford after the 2010 season, Damon at $6-7 million for a year makes all of the sense in the world. At that number you are paying Johnny Damon what would be his actual value, instead of what his Yankee Stadium numbers, and not to mention Scott Boras, may say that he is worth.

At that price, we can actually talk about Damon's actual value to a club - instead of how a multi-year contract could end up looking in three years. A multi-year deal would have us weighing Damon's age and projected decline. In this instance, we as analysts have the ability to say the Yankees have secured a player that CHONE projects to be a 3.2 win player at a premium price. Not to mention making Brett Gardner the fourth outfielder, a position that we all know is where he belongs.

If/when Damon returns, we will be able to one again blow inordinate amounts of smoke up Brian Cashman's ass for another savvy, shrewd move. Personally, I have come to expect nothing less.

Here's one you haven't heard

As I was perusing the list of available outfielders this morning (like every other Yankee fan), there was one name that jumped off the page (or screen, as it were): Rick Ankiel.

Now before all of my SABR freaks start screaming about how Ankiel is impatient, let me say that I do not see him as an ideal fit in left. BUT, he is a name, and the Yankees have been interested before. He is also, according to FanGraphs, a superior left fielder in a relatively small sample size.

The reason for this post is not to urge the Yankees to run out and sign Rick Ankiel. What I will say is that I am comfortable with the Yankees organization right now. In years past, Ankiel is a player that would be plastered all over the papers as a player the Yankees would be interested in, and they would be right. He's a name, he's a story. What he isn't is a good baseball player. It's things like this that indicate just how much control Brian Cashman has been afforded. If Hank was still involved on any level, he'd be calling Scott Boras about Ankiel every time he went outside for a smoke.

This is the type of organization that people like myself and the guys over at NoMaas begged for since the inception of our respective sites; one run by baseball men, not business men. And, if you haven't noticed, it yielded a World Series title.

Every year about this time, a little part of me dies

When HOF ballot time rolls around every year, Yankee fans from my generation (and I have been as adamant as any) rally around our hero, Don Mattingly.

Donnie Baseball was a God to many Yankee fans for a team that was far from dominant. his career seemed to last an eternity, as the team missed out on the postseason year, after year, after year. He had perhaps his best shot at a title ripped away from him by the strike in '94, and there wasn't a single die hard fan who wasn't teary eyed when he dropped to a knee at Skydome and pounded the turf in '95. He worked hard, played hurt, and didn't bitch in the media. Just grabbed his fucking lunch pail and showed up at the ballpark every day. This is why we all identify with Don Mattingly.

Make no mistake though: before all of the sympathy for a veteran whose body was failing, Don Mattingly was the best player in the American League, and arguably all of baseball. He was a great all around player that could hit for average and power, and was one of the top fielding first basemen ever. He had what my friend Spo calls the "Badass Quotient". It's that certain quality that instills fear in opponents. Mattingly was the type of player that other teams had a gameplan for. He might have been the best player in baseball for a stretch of five years or so, and that to me is what makes a Hall of Famer. Not pitching for 100 years and getting almost 300 wins.
The National Baseball Hall of Fame is not a Goddamned weigh station for stat compilers. It is a place where those who were considered SUPERSTARS to be immortalized. Batting titles, MVP's, and breathtaking plays in the field allowed Mattingly to reach what could have been rock star, Joe Namath heights - but that wasn't his style. Unlike some other private players, though, that didn't take away from his appeal to the masses in New York.

I know that the numbers may not be there from a career standpoint (although he was just as good as Kirby fucking Puckett, but I already made that argument), but there was no hitter as feared as Don Mattingly in his prime. That, to me, is what the Hall of Fame is all about.

Congratulations Andre Dawson

Pictured Above: Your entire Hall of Fame class of 2010. I don't give a shit who Roberto Alomar spit on, we will look back some years from now and realize that he was one of (if not the) best second baseman the game has ever seen.

I thought he already retired?

After a career that spanned like 7 decades, chronic douchebag Randy Johnson retired via conference call late last night. Apparently he pitched for the Giants last year. Perhaps the most dominant lefty in baseball history, his was a story of ups and downs in New York. Happy trails dickhead.

PS - Let the record show that as big an egomaniac asshole as he is, The Big Unit still had the sense to officially retire before Bernie Williams. We love you Bernie, please give it up.

Memo

Dear Readers,

 

I apologize for giving the staff here at The Fowl Balls World Headquarters the holidays off, but we are back for the New Year in full swing (get it? A baseball euphemism! I fucking rule!). Since nothing happened anyways, you can all stop emailing me your bitchy, whiny messages that we aren't writing enough. We are not, and have not, been one of those sites that Facebooks, Tweets, and sends carrier pigeons every time Brian Cashman takes a shit, so I don't know what to tell you.

 

All that being said, expect some new articles in the next few days in cluding our take on the Hall of Fame voting and the Red Sox's (can that be right?) continued accumulation of the 1999 All Star team.

Sincerely,

Jimmy Dugan

President, CEO, & Dictator

The Fowl Balls