4/10/07

THIS JUST IN.....


After last nights excellent outing by Carl Pavano (7ip 2er 2K 0BB), yours truly the Deputy Dog secured an exclusive interview with the First Lady of Fowl Balls (the lovely girlfriend of our host Jimmy Dugan) and get her analytical assessment of Pavano's performance:


Deputy Dog: What did you think of Carl Pavano's performance last night against the Twins?

First Lady: He's still hot.



Check back later for more.

4/9/07

Looks Like Carl Is Due For Another Injury

Pavano Comes Up Big in Game 6

Headlines
- Looks like the Yankees might hit a little in '07
- Big Shot Bobby; OBP Abreu drives in 4
- ARod improving trade value
- Brian Bruney's tattoo is awesome!
- It still pisses me off to hear Justin Morneau referred to as the reigning AL MVP as he swings his bat like a lumberjack

Photo of pre-nose job Jermaine Jackson courtesy of ESPN.com

4/8/07

Jesus, They Looked Bad

Yankees Lose on Easter

Headlines
- Rasner, ARod can't seem to keep the ball in the yard
- Cano taking fielding lessons from Jeter
- Nick Markakis is good - and his name sounds like "More-cockis"
- Johnny Damon's calf is so hurt that he legged out a stand-up triple
- Miguel Cairo started in left field today
- Off to the warmth of Minnesota

Happy Easter

And for all you Italians out there...



4/7/07

Jimmy Duggan Exclusive Interview


Robinson Cano


Armonk, NY - I had the priveledge of speaking with one of baseball's rising young stars today at an autograph signing in the small Westchester town of Armonk, NY. Robinson Cano, All-Star second baseman for the New York Yankees, smiled thorugh our entire conversation, exuding the image of a young man having fun playing a kid's game. After going 1 for 5 in a roller coaster win for the Yankees that ended in a walk of grand slam by Alex Rodriguez, Robbie sat with Fowl Balls to talk about the season ahead.


JD - "Good luck this season"
RC - "Thank you"


A man of few words, Cano gave this gracious interview without any prior prompt or notice. His boyish visage hung on my every word, and he seemed genuinely thankful that I would go out of my way to wish he and his teammates well as they embark on yet another season with championship expectations.

Can We Get Off His Ass Now?

ARod Hits a Game-Winning Slam to the Black Seats

Headlines
- Igawa wasn't as bad as his line looked; or his glasses
- I can't wait to see how the NY papers spin an "ARod Sucks" article out of this
- Matsui hurts hamstring, Cairo replaces him, I get pissed
- Jeter hobbled, still plays. Somebody make Johnny Damon take notes please
- Giambi hits clutch homer and continues to look JUST like Lattimer in the Program

Yankees Continue to Lose to Teams that Suck

Mussina Awful in 2007 Debut

Headlines
- Jeter Injurs foot, Now Almost as Slow to His Left as He is to the Right
- Miguel Tejada Not as Fat as Last Year
- ARod Loses Another Game Single-Handedly

4/5/07

Too Cold for the Old

Pettitte Struggles in Return Outing,
Yankees 1-1 in Minor League Play

Headlines
- The Way Jeter Goes Left Reminds Us of Another Famous Derek
- Jae Wong Seo, Thanks for Everthing, Julie Newmar
- Elijah Dukes Inches Closer to Having More Homeruns than Arrests
- Miguel Cairo Sees First Action; Yankees Lose....Coincidence?

4/2/07

Opening Day, Sort of

Yankees Begin Final Tuneup for Actual Major League Season by Playing the Devil Rays

Headlines
- Bonus Baby: Scouts Project Christopher Lidle as Mets 2008 Opening Day Starter
- Let's not freak out, but Pavano looked OK for almost five innings
- Posada solid as always; just as commonly overlooked
- Wow, ARod really sucks
- Damon Leaves Game Due to Vaginitis - Pap Smears Negative
- The Kids are Alright: When not commiting felonies, the Rays' youngsters can play
- Bullpen strength: Bruney, Henn, Vizcaino, Farnsworth, and Rivera combine for 4 2/3 shutout innings
- No Shit: Not One Team in the Major Leagues Wanted Andy Phillips

Jimmy Duggan on Location: Spring Training 2007

One would imagine that a three hour flight to watch a game that doesn't count for anything would not be much of a thrill for a life-long Yankee fan who longs for the pressure-filled contests of late September. But to the contrary, my first trip to Legends Field was both exciting and memorable from beginning to end.

I couldn't believe what I was feeling as our hotel shuttle appoached One Steinbrenner Way (that's right, he named the street after himself; and this is why I love this man). It was the same feeling I had when I was seven years old and my parents were driving me to my first Yankee game. Goosebumps. I had goosebumps in 85 degree heat. The shuttle let us off right in front of Legends Field, and I was awestruck. I say "we" because I was accompanied by the First Lady of the Fowl Balls empire, my beautiful girlfriend. So, as you may imagine, I was doing my best to play it cool and avoid her finding out that I am a complete dork; this lasted for about seven minutes.

The first thing we saw as we got off the bus was a grass area that displayed the numbers that have been retired throughout Yankee history. To be able to see these up close without having to show up at the stadium four hours early so you can get into monument park was amazing. Though it was incredibly challenging, I resisted the urge to take a picture of each one with my digital camera in front of the First Lady. It was at this point that she informed me that she had to powder her nose, so I reluctantly waited for her to return as I watched a few of the pitchers that the Yankees had in camp from a distance as they got their tossing in on an adjacent field. My keen knowledge recognized Mike Mussina, Carl Pavano, Brian Bruney, and Chien-Ming Wang. When the First Lady returned, I tried not to rip her arm out of the socket to get a closer look. I watched intently through a chain link fence as the group of pitchers got loose, and then it happened. As Pavano finished his session and started walking toward our piece of fence, it happened; the exchange that follows is an exact account of the conversation that took place between myself and the First Lady:

FL - "Who is that"
JD - "Carl Pavano"
FL - "He's hot!"
JD - "No he isn't, hes a pussy"
FL - "Let's go get his autograph"


At first I was aphalled that she had the nerve to comment about Pavano, of all people. Then I saw an opening: if we DID get his autograph, I could go completely fruitcake fanboy and she would think it was her idea all along! As we ran, yes, ran, to the Clubhouse store, I was thankful that the Yankees signed Pavano for the first time. I bought a 5x7 aerial photo of Legends Field and a Sharpie marker, and we headed back to the fence. Carl was gone, but there were now others signing by the fence, and more pitchers were throwing than before. (Sidenote: as I was watching the second wave of pitchers throw, something struck me; Mike Myers was throwing overhand while he was tossing. WHAT THE HELL? Do what the Yankees pay you to do while you are on their time. Throw sidearm asshole.) Anyways, the Frst Lady and I proceeded to work a two-man game that Stockton and Malone would be proud of. We seemlessly transitioned between autograph seeker and photographer, making several pristine handoffs in the process. When all was said and done, we had obtained signatures from Scott Proctor, Darrell Rasner, and prospect Mark Melancon along with multiple pictures of each. Whatever coolness I maintained when we got to the stadium was now completely shot to shit.

By the time we entered the stadium, I had my camera bag strapped across my chest like Indiana Jones, looking like a complete douche. The inside of Legends field is completely breathetaking. Just like its Bronx counterpart, it has what looks to be the greenest grass in with world, along with the same trademark facade of the House that Ruth Built. I truly hope that the players on the Tampa Yankees are aware of how priveledged they are, because I have been to some complete crap holes in my Minor League travels.

After we took it all in, it was time to watch baseball. In the first inning, the First Lady had the quote of the afternoon:

FL - "I miss Yankee Stadium. These fans are boring. It's like there is a mass going on"

After I had a nice giggle, I explained that Yankee fans really don't give a shit about spring training: it's just an opportunity to get better seats thatn you can afford up north.

Ok, now some analysis. Kei Igawa started the game, and I am less than thrilled that the Yankees have put so much stock in him. Once again, his stat line was not an eyesore, but it just did not tell the whole story. Igawa was missing spots by feet rather than inches, nearly dislocating Jorge Posada's shoulder on several pitches. Mariano Rivera threw a perfect inning, looking sharp as always. The highlight of the day (for me, anyway) was watching newly annointed Yankee Josh Phelps dril his fourth home run of the spring over the left field wall. Though it may be disappointing, that is all the baseball there was to talk about on this day. After all, it is spring training and as a true Yankee fan, I didn't give a shit about what went on on the field. The game ended in a 3-3 tie for Christ's sakes.

The afternoon ended with me taking a picture of every retired number in front of the stadium. Not only did the First Lady not call me gay, she even asked someone to take a picture of the two of us in front of Mattingly's number 23. Looks like this one's a keeper, folks.