Updates galore

Things have been pretty busy in Jimmy Dugan's world, my updates have left much to be desired of late. Sorry. But over the next month I will be working diligently to bring you the best in Yankees news including analysis, interviews, and just the right amount of dick jokes. Enjoy.


Looks like somedoby is due for a piss test

5 for 5, 4 RBIs in 11-1 route of Texas

Bad logic on my part

After taking last weekend off updating the blog and watching this happen, I took it upon myself to take another few days for myself. Unfortunately, things didn't really go as planned.

Long story short, the Yankees sandwiched Saturday's win against the Phillies with two losses to the World Champions, including an extra inning affair on Sunday. The loss on Friday snapped a nine game winning streak (yeah, I know you knew).

Luckily, Phil Hughes came back on Memorial Day and fired an eight-inning gem, completely shutting down an offense that has carried the Rangers to first place. Unfortunately, the dominant performance by Hughes was sullied by the fact that these fucking things were a part of it.


3 dollar bil ya'll

As they did last season, the Yankees will be wearing commemorative caps on Memorial Day, the 4th of July, and September 11th as a nod to veterans both past and present. Major League Baseball will be donating $1 for each cap sold to the Welcome Back Veterans charity. If the league was trying to raise as much money as possible, maybe they shouldn't have commissioned Fred Durst to design these fucking monstrosities.

Hey, Aubrey

It's coming



What a difference a gay makes

Though he has hit some dramatic homeruns since his return from the DL, The Alex Rodriguez Show has yet to hit stride with the bat. His real impact thus far has happened while standing in the on deck circle.

Mark Teixeira has been the player that the Yankees paid in the 10 games since Alex's return:

25 G, .198 AVG, 5 HR, 15RBI


10 G, .342 AVG, 5 HR, 13 RBI

(stats courtest of the MLB Network, a.k.a. the greatest thing to happen to me since my second nut dropped)

Once Rodruguez returns to form, this offense will be downright scary.


Fantasy Pick of the Week

Powered by Fantasy Phenoms
Our start of the week is someone who we've avoided since he became a Giant. Barry Zito has been a different pitcher in 2009 though. He's walking fewer batters and his fastball is faster than it's been in previous years. He currently possesses a 3.89 ERA and a respectable 1.30 WHIP.

Facing The Padres in Petco Park and the Mariners in Safeco, offers Zito two extremely favorable matchups next week. While Zito isn't someone you start on a weekly basis, this is the week to give him the nod.
Through 11 innings this year, Zito holds a 3.27 ERA against San Diego. In two starts in Petco last year, Zito maintained a 3.55 ERA over 13 innings pitched.
Seattle, as you should already know, is a very weak offense.
Roll the dice this week and start Barry Zito.
This article also appears on Fantasy Phenoms , who is overlooking the fact that Barry Zito is a complete douche to make your fantasy team unbeatable.


The Major League Amateur Draft is fast approaching. I will do my best to keep up with noteworthy news concerning the Yankees draft, but the nature of the event is far too fickle for me to cover too in depth without quitting my job.

Luckily, the guys over at NoMaas apparently do not have the burden of real world responsibility, and can give you ridiculously copious coverage of the draft on a daily basis. Lane Meyer does a commendable job providing analysis as well as interviews with Damon Oppenheimer and potential Yankees draftees.

Make sure to check out the NoMaas Draft Blog to see the latest on what the Yankees have planned for June (and also to see pictures of strapping young high school boys in tight pants).

I take a weekend off, and look what happens...

I should take more weekends off...


Earning his big, fat check

When the Yankees agreed to a $4,589,123,476,678,567 contract with CC Sabathia, what they expected was a front of the rotation starter that would give the bullpen a rest every five days. In his last two starts, thats exactly what he has given them:

2 G, 17 IP, 9 H, 2 ER, 5 BB, 13 K - 2 Wins

With all of the woes suffered by the rotation thus far, the Yankees need CC to continue devouring opposing hitters like cheeseburgers (HA! Another reference to his weight! I am a genius!)


Yankees beat Jays powered by first and last home run of Brett Gardner's career

After watching last night's game against the Blue Jays, I came to a conclusion: any team that can lose to a Yankees lineup "highlighted" by Brett Gardner, Ramiro Pena, Melky Cabrera, and the indominable Francisco Cervelli should be erraticated from the Major Leagues. After all of this nonsensical bullshit about how the Blue Jays could be "for real", they got beat last night by an inferior lineup, all while not allowing a hit to Alex Rodriguez.

On Tuesday, Roy Halladay showed why he is the best in the business by dominating the Yanks. On Wednesday, his team proved that it is relatively worthless if he isn't on the mound. Keep in mind that Scott Richmond, who started for the Jays last ngiht, was 4-1 3.29 prior to being pants by the Yankees AAAA squad. This can not hold up.

With all of the injuries and struggles that the team has endured, it is a testament to how good this team truly is that they are still within striking distance of first place. After starting the season without their all star third baseman, the Yankees have lost their number two starting pitcher, their starting catcher, starting right fielder, setup man, backup catcher, and are now winning games with their all star shortstop on the shelf. Imagine the Mets playing without David Wright for five weeks, and in the process losing Mike Pelfrey, Brian Schneider, Ryan Church, J.J. Putz, and Ramon Castro yet still keeping it together without letting the Phillies run away with the division. The Yankees depth has been truly outstanding.


Should the Yankees re-sign Johnny Damon?

Over the past 3+ season, Johnny Damon has quietly become one of the most productive free-agent signings of the Brian Cashman Era. His numbers, impressively, have stayed on par with his four years in Boston (better in some cases), while experiencing a relatively graceful defensive demise.

When the Yankees signed Damon to a four year deal at 32 years old, the move prompted some fans (myself included) to throw our hands up and bitch about the Yankees "doing the same things they did in the 80's". This consisted of buying or trading for players well above market value based on star power, and watching them crap the bed over the life of the deal. Players like Carl Pavano, Kevin Brown, and arguably Jason Giambi all fit this mold, but Damon has busted through to become a much-better-than-league-average player in his 32 through 34 seasons, and has continued into his 35 season by winning the much lauded, highly respected Player of the Week Award this week.

This leads to the question (the suspense of which I have already ruined in the title. Internet journalism at its finest): seeing as though he is a free agent after the season, should Johnny Damon be brought back to the Bronx in 2010?

We all know about Austin Jackson, who continues to tear through the minors(.365/.432/.452/.884 at SWB), en route to being the next Yankees centerfielder. But as much buzz as there is around AJax, he is still far from a sure thing. He has struck out 27 times in 28 games this season, and has yet to hit a home run in his first 104 at bats. The uncertainty surrounding Jackson could be the least of the Yanks' outfield worries in 2010, with the team (most likely) losing Hideki Matsui and Xavier Nady to free agency, and having already seen that Brett Gardner sucks rhinoceros sack.

With all of these questions, one thing is clear - the team will be in desparate need of depth come this offseason. The team will undoubtedly be tied to players like Matt Holliday and Jason Bay once the market opens up, as they are always in the mix on big names. Though they are great players, the track record that Johnny Damon has built is undeniable - and the price tag would not be near as much. With players like Bobby Abreu signing one year, make-good contracts in the $5 million range this past offseason, one can only imagine that Damon would be looking at similar deals.

After his first three years in the Bronx, and being off to a world beating start in 2009, Damon has played his way into contention for a deal in 2010. And for one year, he is absolutely worth it.

Fantasy Pick of the Week

Powered by Fantasy PhenomsThis week's start of the week is Jose Guillen of the Kansas City Royals. Guillen hit the DL in April and was dropped in many fantasy leagues.

Sly owners added him quickly despite being on the DL. Guillen bats cleanup for the Royals and in each of the last two seasons he has hit 20+ homers and driven in an average of 98 runs. He's certainly become a quiet weekly starter.Since he came off the DL in May, Guillen has hit .333 with a homer, six runs scored and six RBI. Don't sleep on Jose Guillen this week and for the rest of the season.

This article also appears on Fantasy Phenoms - if you aren't reading them yet, you should see a you are probably getting anally impacted every week by someone who is.


Thanks, we needed that

After watching Ramiro Pena, Cody Ransom and Angel Berroa form a three-headed suck monster over the first five weeks of the season, Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez returned on Friday night. The picture above is A-Rod going deep on the first pitch he saw, officially hitting more homeruns in one at bat than Pena, Berroa, and Ransom hit this season COMBINED.


Congratulations to the Red Sox on their newest acquisition (pictured below)

Happy A-Rod Day

It's about time

After the report executed by US Senator (and Red Sox consultant) George Mitchell mysteriously excluded any players of significance on the 2004 OR 2007 World Championship teams, it looks as though Manny Ramirez has tested positive for a PED.

While there is plenty of room for boner jokes in this story (and Lord knows I am phenomenal at them), I am far too enthralled with the fact that the championships that ended an eighty-six year drought could very well be tainted.

Once one half of the most feared slugging tandem in baseball, Ramirez was arguably the most important player in Boston during his tenure. Along with David Ortiz (who is constantly hurt now, ahem), Manny destroyed the Yankees, and everyone else, seemingly every night.

After enduring the taunting from Red Sox fans and journalists alike, it may be time for everyone in baseball to wake up: EVERYONE was doing this. And, apparently, Manny Ramirez still is. And he has tiny testicles (Sorry, had to be done).



I posted this picture because a cute puppy is a lot nicer to think about than the fact that the Red Sox are now 5-0 against the Yankees, the bullpen is a mess and Jorge Posada is out for a month. Enjoy.


Not. Good.

According to WFAN's Sweeny Murti, Jorge Posada is headed for his third DL stint since signing his ridiculous free agent contract before the 2008 season (hat tip to PeteAbe). As we all witnessed last season, this could prove to be a devastating blow to the Yankees, especially at a time when Posada's bat has helped carry those off to slow starts (coughMarkTeixeiracough).

With the generally awful Francisco "I am not really Italian" Cervelli the only other catcher on the 40 man roster, a move will most definitely have to be made. The options in AAA are equally as terrifying, with three no stick Kevin Cash, Chris Stewart, and P.J. Pilittere. So what now?

As I perused MLBTR for the available free agents, I found the answer. Paul LoDuca, though aging, is a four-time all star who has dealt with the perils of New York. I know his best days are behind him, but over his career he has thrown out a respectable 30% of baserunners, while showing a bat that surpasses that of Jose Molina. LoDuca did end up in the middle of his share of controversy, but who are we to judge his affinity for chasing underage tail?

At the end of the day, this move is FAR from ideal, but I would rather eat sushi off of Robin Williams' nude body than be forced to watch Molina take four at bats every game for a month.

Happy Cinco de Mayo

(hat tip to Drunk Athlete)

Welcome back

Alfredo Aceves did an admirable job of keeping the Red Sox at bay for four and a third after Phil Hughes had a rough outing after a 2+ hour rain delay. Happy Cinco de Mayo to you and all of your Mexican brethren.


Fantasy Pick of the Week

Powered by Fantasy Phenoms
Pablo Sandoval is batting .500 over the last week. He's certainly nobody's #1 CI, but is likely in the mix for a weekly lineup spot for most teams. His eligibility at 1B, 3B and C in many leagues makes him a valuable commodity. Pablo hasn't been striking out much either, which is excellent for those in leagues that penalize that statistic. In fact, he's only struck out once in his last 25 AB.
Sandoval has eleven hits in his last 22 AB's, which includes two homers, two doubles and a triple. Pablo isn't a speedster, but he did steal a bag last week, which is an added bonus.Make sure you get him in your lineup for next week when he'll have seven games on tap.

This article also appears on Fantasy Phenoms - be sure to take a look as they will help you pummel your opponent into submission week after week.