Gross.

There is no other word to describe what I was forced to watch as a Yankee fan this weekend. Just BRUTAL. No pitching, no offense, and I got to watch that d-bag K-Rod celebrate like he just closed Game 7 not once, but TWICE. Act like you been there, guy.

PS - To all of my Mets fan friends: RELAX. Good for you for taking 2 of 3 from a superior team. But let's get one thing straight - your team is flat out not good. Johan is solid, and it looks like Mike Pelfrey has put it together. That leaves 60% of your rotation that is dogshit. Your star third baseman strikes out like there's an incentive in is contract tied to it. Jose Reyes makes horrific decisions on the bases. Jeff Franceour's head is so far up his own rectum at the plate that he's wearing himself as a hat.

PPS - I hate K-Rod with the heat of 1,000 suns. It makes me smile when his newly acquired chubby face dryhumps a fastball to the plate at 89 MPH.

Yankees limp into series against JV team

(Nice grab, bro)

After getting their dicks kicked in by the Rays, the walking wounded Yankees get to take some BP reps this weekend at Citi Field. In game one, look for Javier Vazquez to stay on track (he will be pitching against an NL team, after all). If the Yankees don't win at least 2 of these 3 games, I think that there should be some serious thought about contraction.

Mets to Fans: " Fuck you."

It looks as though Ben Sheets has chosen to play for the Oakland Athletics in 2010, as reported by Danny Knobler of CBS Sports. The deal will reportedly pay Sheets $10 million this coming season. As I said last week, this was the last chance for the Mets organization to prove that they were looking to compete in 2010. This was the perfect time for the Mets to make this move, as there are positive reports swirling about the bullpen sessions that Johan Santana and Olie the Walk Machine had in Port St. Lucie. But, alas, there was never any doubt that Omar and Co. would fuck this up, was there?

I guess it's time for plan Z

It looks as though Bengie Molina and his DD's will be sunning themselves in San Francisco in 2010, despite the Mets' "best" efforts to woo him to Shiti Field. I am actually starting to feel for peole who follow this team; they just can't do any fucking thing right at this point.

First, the organization slams Carlos Beltran in the press for having a surgery that they didn't approve (although there have been whispers that they actually did tell the doctor to go a head with the procedure). Then Peter Gammons' corpse reports that the Red Sox pulled their four year offer to Jason Bay off the table because an MRI on his knees revealed damage*. Now Bengie Molina tells them to go piss up a tree.

I will say this now: after reports from Ben Sheets' throwing session going well, if the Mets do not sign him, they don't give a shit. Unless they outbid everyone else in the running, one of two things must be true: either they have already written of 2010 and are looking to 2011, or Omar Minaya is doing an in depth experiment on how far he can actualy go before that asshole Jeff Wilpon fires him.

They should just contract this team already

The Mets' season of embarrassment reached new heights last night. In what should have been a triumphant return to the diamond for David Wright following a horrific head injury, the team saw fit to put him in a Great Gazoo helmet.

This is just awful. I agree that the brain is important: it is the governing body which rules our entire human existence. But if they told me I could either wear this helmet on national television or die, some serious fucking pondering would be in order.

(photo jacked from Barstool Sports NYC - but since I put this in italics it looks official and they won't do shit)

The Mets (finally) make the right move

According to SI's John Heyman twitter account (I have one that you should follow too, by the way), the Mets passed on a deal for Roy Halladay. Rumored to be included were Fernando Martinez, Bobby Parnell, Jon Niese and Ruben Tejada. Despite the undeniable talent of Halladay, this is a smart move for a few reasons, but not the least of which is that the Mets are awful.

The Mets are falling like a rock out of contention for a playoff spot, and the addition of Roy Halladay would be futile unless he can also bat behind David Wright. Regardless of how good your pitching is, running five position players out every night that are not Major League quality is too much to overcome (just ask Johan). Stripping your already anemic farm system completely bare to make a half-assed run at a Wild Card is just bad business.

More importantly, in my mind, the Metropolatinos have saved themselves a PR nightmare in passing on this deal. Accepting this offer publicly only to have Halladay exercise his no-trade clause would be a tremendous blow to the team, both internally and in the prison-raping that they would take in the New York media. It also came about this week that even if traded this season, Halladay can demand to be traded again at season's end. So for all of you "wait 'til next year" Mets fans can stuff it.

Sure, Santana and Halladay at the front of your rotation sounds formidable, nay, unbeatable. But even in the stretches where Johan Santana has looked super-human, the Mets haven't been guaranteed a win due to the fact that players like Fernando Tatis that were signed for the purpose of being fringy bench players are being counted on to produce (Gary Sheffield?? REALLY??).

So if Heyman is correct, which Keith Law has already rebuffed, I commend the Mets on having the wherewithal to realize that they suck. Plus, as we all know, Omar Minaya was not giving up a package including two Latin players to receive a white guy in return. (hat tip to MLBTR)

Still the JV team

Even though the Yankees should have dropped the series to the Metropolatinos this weekend, it was proven on both Friday and Sunday tht God hates the Mets.



Friday night, the Yankees were down by a run with two outs in the ninth when always clutch Alex Rodriguez hit a weak pop-up to three time Gold Glove second baseman Luis Castillo. With men on second and third, the sure-handed Castillo booted the short fly that a nine year old could have caught, handing the Yankees a win in the first game of the series.



After the Yankees were embarassed by Fernando Nieve (whoever the hell that is) on Saturday in a loss, the Mets looked to be in great position for a series win on Sunday as Johan Santana was set to face always erratic AJ Burnett. In a game that proved that betting on baseball is moronic, the Yanks took Santana over their collective knee and pummeled him the worst loss of his career. The 15-0 dickslap was the most lobsided win at home since 1954.



In my mind this proved nothing beyond the fact that the Mets have a black could of inferiority over their franchise. Rest assured, Met fans, - no matter how good the team may look in the low rent National League, the Yankees will reign supreme in this city. God makes sure of that.

Forever the JV Team

Oliver Perez signed a 3 year $36 million deal with the Mets. At that AAV, that means he will make more money in 2009 than Andy Pettite, Milton Bradley, Pat Burrell, Kerry Wood, Brian Fuentes, Edgar Renteria, Casey Blake, Raul Ibanez, Jon Garland, Brad Penny, John Smoltz, Trevor Hoffman, Guillermo Mota and Daniel Cabrera. After embarassing themselves on Derek Lowe and never really throwing a hat in the ring on Ryan Dempster, this is the topper. Paying an inconsistent pitcher who led the league in walks (again) when the team is in desperate need of a solid two starter behind Johan Santana is deplorable. Look at the list of afforementioned players and think how many would have been useful to the Metropolatinos at a discounted price. They are still in need of a power hitting corner outfielder (Pat Burrell???), and starting pitching depth. Plus, another report surfaced today that the Mets are not in on Bobby Abreu or Manny Ramirez , and there is still no sign of interest in Adam Dunn as far as I see. With Carlos Delgado coming off of the books after this year, a two year, $20 million investment in Dunn seems like a deal that even a shaved monkey could figure out. The offseason started off well with the signing of K-Rod and the larceny of J.J. Putz from the Mariners, but follow through is needed. They now have a solid back of the bullpen, a questionable offense and a starting rotation that is (maybe) four deep. Think about that every time Oli walks ten in four innings, Mets fans. Oh, and good luck overtaking the World Champion Phillies. But at least there is meringue night to look forward to. Then to put the cherry on all of this, I am once again forced to source Joel Sherman. I hate this team.

Always Second Best

The Metropolatinos and Yankees have unveiled their respective commemorative patches for 2009, a year in which they will both be opening new stadiums. Pictured above, courtesy of the New York Daily News, these patches are a commentary on the histories of these two franchises.

The Yankees have obviously brought in the best, most expensive designers to concocht a graphic worthy of their storied franchise.

The Metropolatinos, on the other hand, come up with this second trimester abortion of a design, presumably used as a final project in a high school graphic arts class.

It is all too fitting that this patch was premiered the day before the team allowed Derek Lowe to sign with their division rivals. Nice job by Mets' ownership. They are smart enough to invest hundreds of millions in Bernie Madoff, but won't spend money on pitching.

Mets make a shocking acquisition

According to Ken Rosenthal: Under terms of the deal, the Mets would get Putz, outfielder Jeremy Reed and reliever Sean Green. The Mariners would receive reliever Aaron Heilman, outfielder Endy Chavez and first baseman Mike Carp from the Mets. They'd also get Franklin Gutierrez from the Indians and minor leaguers. The Indians would get reliever Joe Smith from the Mets and infielder Luis Valbuena from Seattle. According to reports, Omar Minaya is working frantically to flip Putz to another team to acquire another 2-3 players of Latin descent.