I'm in love, I'm in love and I don't care who knows it!

As anyone who reads the blog knows (that's right, both of you), the recent fall of Alex Rodriguez has left Jimmy Dugan as heartbroken as a schoolgirl. After much deliberation, a suitable replacement has been found, and we at The Fowl Balls are ready to introduce our new man crush.

...and the player you will hear so much about this season that you will be sick by the All-Star break is...


Mark Teixeira

We have always had an affinity for Teixeira's play, and who wouldn't. A well-rounded, slugging first baseman that plays gold-glove quality defense. Sound familiar? It should.

Now that he is a Yankee, Tex will be subjected to the ridiculous media scrutiny that all star players are afforded once in New York. Thanks to this, we will be able to learn more about Mark Teixeira the person, not just Mark Teixeira the player. The article that cemented my undying love (read: until he tests positive) was in the New York Times this weekend. Just like the rest of us, Mark Teixeira worshipped Don Mattingly as a child. That's right, even though he was a die-hard Orioles fan growing up in Maryland, Tex had a poster of Donnie Baseball on his wall. He's one of us.

Again, Teixeira's numbers are admirable enough on their own. He gets on base, hits for power, and will do a great job protecting you-know-who batting in front of him all year. But in the end, the idiot fanboy in me eats this other sh*t up. Now that I have officially received my Mark Texeira jersey in the mail, it's on like Donkey Kong. Teixeira updates all day long.


Big Dong Kong said...

Can we call dat foo Markey Baseball Junior? I had mad(man) love (still do) for Donnie Baseball, and I wanted to blast that nutknocker George after handing the job to Clueless Joe Girardi. Shit man, Big Dong Kong could've done a betta job last season. I need my Hitman back. That niggas world series career is goin to be played vicariously through Big Teixy, Markey Baseball Jr. #25, save the Yanks from the depths of Girardi hell. Now that POS is gonna coach a WS team. No credit to Girardi. THE CASHMAN COMMETH! Hmmmmmm. Now you's are all thinking, that foo Big Dong Kong be always right. Holla 1

Bronx Baseball Daily said...

He's going to be a popular one. I just hope he gets off to a fast start along with the team. I'm tired of them starting every May in last place.

Jimmy Dugan said...

I dont know who Big Dong Kong is, but aside from the borderline-retarded speech patterns, there are some valid points in his posts.